


the chocobros and this cursed group chat

by ImJustTrash



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Angst, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Gen, It's getting real, Kinda fluff, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Stalking, but i'll put a spoiler warning if something were to pop up so it'll be aight winkS, chatfic bc i crave, idk how to tag, it doesnt really match the story but i guess at some parts it might???, more people will be added later i guess, this is dumb but im not sorry
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-03
Updated: 2018-04-01
Packaged: 2018-12-10 10:34:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 29,467
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11689854
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ImJustTrash/pseuds/ImJustTrash
Summary: Noct: pics or it didn't happenchocobo boi: of what the hotel room? Ignis?? Gladio being knocked tf out??Noct: how about you?chocobo boi: smooth but like i know u wanna see gladio look like a pass out drunkNoct: man you rightAKA the chatfic no one asked for but i craved??





	1. ignis never asked for this

**Author's Note:**

> i was reading a chatfic and thought "yo i wanna make one" so i did  
> with these dorks  
> so please enjoy this terrible thing

_November 29 2016_

_6:34 pm_

 

**Ignis Scientia:** Where are you two?

**Noct:** i dunno who you're talking about

**Ignis Scientia:** Don't test me, Noct. Where are you and Prompto? It's getting late.

**Noct:** relax we're totally fine

**Noct:** we were walkin around lestallum and prom thought there was some sort of noteworthy picture spot so we just hung out there for a bit

**Noct:** and it's not that late it's only like 6

**Ignis Scientia:** Are you arguing with me, your Highness?

**Noct:** ...no

**Noct:** i was just saying

**Noct:** you can ask prom yourself

**Noct:** here i'll make like a group chat for us

**Ignis Scientia:** Please don't.

 

\---

 

_November 29 2016_

_6:45 pm_

 

_Noct added chocobo boi, Ignis Scientia, and Gladio to a group_

_Noct renamed the group THE CHOCOBROS_

 

**Ignis Scientia:** Why?

**Noct:** tell him we're totally fine prom

**chocobo boi:** tots fine rn

**Noct:** see? you don't have to worry about us

**Ignis Scientia:** If you're not back before 8 there will be consequences.

**Gladio:** Hes gonna whoop yalls asses lmao

**Noct:** stfu gladio

**chocobo boi:** yeah no one asked u

**Gladio:** I dont need your permission to input my opinion nibba

**Noct:** oh fuck

**Ignis Scientia:** Language.

**Noct:** right sorry

**Noct:** but uhhh

**Noct:** hold up prom just fell down a hill and i was laughing until i noticed he kinda stopped moving

**Gladio:** All these monsters we fight on a daily basis and he gets taken out by a hill

**Ignis Scientia:** He had a good run in life.

**Gladio:** Rip him

**Noct:** PROM YOU UFKINC DICK BAG

**Ignis Scientia:** Last chance Noct.

**Noct:** my bad let me try that again

**Noct:** PROM YOU MASSIVE POO BALL

**chocobo boi:** i gotcha didnt i ;DDD

**Noct:** that was SO not funny

**chocobo boi:** awww u rlly do care noct~~

**Noct:** knock it off or i'll push you down the hill this time

**chocobo boi:** have i ever told u that ur a great person that i cherish and love being around??? :)))))

**Noct:** that's what i thought you cunt

**Gladio:** What did he do??

**Noct:** this fucker acted like he was hurt then kicked dirt in my face when i went to go help him--  >:(

**chocobo boi:** im not sorry at all lmao

**Ignis Scientia:** Noct come home this instant.

**Gladio:** Oh hes gonna teach you some manners boy

**Gladio:** Prepare for the worst ass whoopin of your life

**Noct:** i'm not five oh my six

**Noct:** and no i'm not coming home yet i still need to get some stuff

**chocobo boi:** more importantly whats up with u and ass whooping gladio??

**Noct:** probably his kink

**chocobo boi:** smh kinky son of a gun

**Noct:** did you just say son of a gun because you shoot things or were you just like childproofing it because ignis is in the chat??

**chocobo boi:** can both be an answer??

**Noct:** no

**Noct:** actually sure why not

**chocobo boi:** ur too good to me :")))

**Gladio:** Why are yall texing each other? Arent you guys walking around together?

**Noct:** um not anymore

**Noct:** i kinda left prom to die at that hill when i found out he was just being a meanie

**chocobo boi:** ive been on the hunt for him ever since...

**Noct:** just try and find me bitchass

**chocobo boi:** oh its on cunt monkey

**Ignis Scientia:** Do you two always curse like this?

**chocobo boi:** honestly yea

**Noct:** curse like sailors when you're not around

**chocobo boi:** sorrY

**Ignis Scientia:** How have I never noticed this?

**chocobo boi:** bc were good noodles when ur around tbh

**chocobo boi:** oooooh shit noct i see youuuuu~~

**Noct:** no you don't

**chocobo boi:** uhh dude u cant hide behind the cup noode car smh

**chocobo boi:** ***CUP NOODLE

**Gladio:** CUP NOODE

**Noct:** good noode

**Noct:** send noodes

**chocobo boi:** OMG

**chocobo boi:** LISTEN OKAY I CANT SPELL TO SVAE MY LIFE

**Ignis Scientia:** So we've noticed.

**chocobo boi:** BOI

**chocobo boi:** AW SHIT I LOST SIGHT OF NOCT

**Noct:** i was never there to begin with

**chocobo boi:** liAR NO ONE ELSE HAS PRINCE HAIR

**Ignis:** I want you both back at the hotel in the next ten minutes.

**Noct:** iggy it's only 7

**Ignis Scientia:** Almost eight, but that's not why I want you back.

**chocobo boi:** then whats up???

**Ignis Scientia:** Gladio seems to have been laughing at that "cup noode" thing for the last couple of minutes and then seemed to knock himself out.

**Noct:** he laughed so hard he knocked himself out??

**chocobo boi:** ill be back in three minutes i cant miss this omG

**Noct:** i'll get there first

**chocobo boi:** briNG IT BITCH

**Noct:** oh it's ON!!!

**Ignis Scientia:** Why does Gladio knocking himself out with laughter bring you two back but not me tell you in general?

**Noct:** gladio putting himself in a laugh coma is something anyone would go to see

**chocobo boi:** who wouldnt wanna see some big fella kill himself with laughter?

**chocobo boi:** that sounded less gruesome in my head???

**Noct:** i'm laughing and running and typing and i hope i don't give myself a stroke

**chocobo boi:** talent dude

**Noct:** aren't you doing this too?

**chocobo boi:** duh but like im use to doing that. like texting and driving

**chocobo boi:** texting and running is a skill ive mastered

**chocobo boi:** well more like gaming and running bUT SAME DIFFERENCE

**Noct:** nerd

**chocobo boi:** shut it

**chocobo boi:** also i won boi!!!

**Noct:** aw what??

**Noct:** no way

**chocobo boi:** way

**chocobo boi:** IN YOUR FACE LOOOOOSER

**Ignis Scientia:** I can confirm Prompto is here before you.

**Noct:** i don't believe you

**Noct:** pics or it didn't happen

**chocobo boi:** of what the hotel room? Ignis?? Gladio being knocked tf out??

**Noct:** how about you?

**chocobo boi:** smooth but like i know u wanna see gladio look like a pass out drunk

**Noct:** man you right

**Ignis Scienita:** Thank goodness I was thinking you were going to bring back up the good noode dilema.

**chocobo boi:** OMG STPP WITH THE NOODE IT WAS ONE TIME

**Noct:** we're never letting go of that moment now send me a pic

**Noct:** of gladio not a noode

**chocobo boi:** LDJAKLDJJF

 

_chocobo boi sent a picture_

 

**Noct:** I'M LAUGHING IS IGNIS JUST SITTING ON HIM???

**chocobo boi:** YEAH AND GLADIO DIDNT EVEN STIR

**chocobo boi:** HES TOTS OUT COLD

**Noct:** IF I WASN'T OUT IN PUBLIC I WOULD BE CRYING FROM MY INNER LAUGHTER

**chocobo boi:** DONT HOLD IT BACK

**chocobo boi** : JUST LET IT OUT MAN

**Noct:** hELL NO THAT'S A PUSSY MOVE

**chocobo boi:** holy shit i just jumped onto gladios back and he still didnt wake up

**Noct:** ignis allowed you to do that???

**chocobo boi:** yeah crazy right//?

**chocobo boi:** i was joking that we could probably jump on him n he would still be sleepin like a baby then iggy was all like "then do it" and got up so i was like "ok why the hell not"

**chocobo boi:** that being said i am now seeing how many times i can jump on him until he wakes up and kills me

**Noct:**  i'll be home in like 30 seconds let me in on this

**chocobo boi:** damn right ur gonna join me get ur ass in here

 

_Noct is now offline_


	2. when someone mentions your crush run away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Noct: did
> 
> Noct: did iggy just fuckin
> 
> Noct: leave the chat??
> 
> chocobo boi: well shoot now we gotta kill him
> 
> cup noode: That escalated quickly

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ARANEA IS HERE BUT WAYYY LATER
> 
> aka the second chapter i guess ew
> 
> note that i write these randomly when i have time and i have no schedule so this is just gonna be updated randomly sorRY
> 
> anyway i tried to see if i can make it longer than the last chapter and i kinda over did it i think???
> 
> like i wayy overdid it that i had to cut it in half so basically the next chapter is halfway finished so next one might be out soon if im feelin it
> 
> without further whatever the word is behold this trash

_November 30 2016_

_2:12 am_

 

 **Noct:** prom where are you??

 **chocobo boi:** wow dude ur actually awake at 2 in the morning?? iggys gonna kick ur ass

 **Noct:** same goes for you

 **Noct:** but for real where you at??

 **chocobo boi:** chill iggy #2 im just walking around lestallum

 **chocobo boi:** and listening to the best song in the world lmAO

 **Noct:** which song?

 **chocobo boi:** most beautiful girl in the room ;)))

 **Noct:** never heard of it and i can't tell if you're just making it up??

 **chocobo boi:** GASPSS

 **chocobo boi:** <https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jgghjx2Ghqk>

**chocobo boi:** bout to bless ur ears

 **Noct:** what the fuck

 **Noct:** OHM Y SIX

 **Noct:** HOW HAVE I NEVER HEARD OF THIS

 **chocobo boi;** I TOLD U ITS A GREAT SONG

 **Noct:** I'M LAUGHING SO HARD I'M ABOUT TO PISS MYSELF I CAN'T

 **chocobo boi:** OMG BRO

 **Noct:** WHAT BRO

 **chocobo boi:** ur the most beautiful girl in the room bro

 **Noct:** bro...

 **chocobo boi:** ily bro

 **Noct:** ily2 bro

 **chocobo boi:** no homo tho

 **Noct:** no homo

 **Gladio:** Get a room

 **chocobo boi:** GLADIO WHY AR EYOU UP

 **Gladio:** Couldnt sleep with Noct laughin it up

 **chocobo boi:** but u could sleep through me and noct jumping on u ??

 **Gladio:** I was knocked out that doesnt count

 **Noct:** how has iggy not waken up from me laughing then?

 **Gladio:** Probably to tired to care

 **Gladio:** But where are you two? I gotta keep tabs on yall while iggys out

 **chocobo boi:** chillin somewhere in lestallum ill be back later tonight when i actually feel tired xddd

 **Noct:** looking for prom

 **chocobo boi:** ummm why??

 **Noct:** no way i'm letting you sit there all by yourself where you at??

 **chocobo boi:** dude go back to sleep wyd

 **Noct:** not till you do

 **chocobo  boi:** bitch

 **Gladio:** Just be back before Iggy wakes up

 **chocobo boi:** gotcha

 **Noct:** yeah yeah

 **Gladio:** Then night

 

_Gladio is now offline_

 

 **Noct:** now tell me where you are

 **chocobo boi:** noct why are u hunting me down? just go back to sleep smh

 **Noct:** is that your music i hear?

 **chocobo boi:** um

 **chocobo boi:** no

 **Noct:** only you would unironically play primadonna girl

 **chocobo boi:** u know me so well its kinda scary

 **Noct:** but where the fuck are you?? i can't seem to follow the music

 **chocobo:** lmao i see u but u dont see mee

 **Noct:** pROM

 **chocobo boi:** CAUSE IM A PRIMADONNA GIRL YEAH

 **chocobo boi:** ALL I EVER WANTED WAS THE WORLD~~~

 **Noct:** PROM WHERE ARE YOU

 **chocobo boi:** LKJFDLK

 **chocobo boi:** look above u and a bit to the right maybe

 **chocobo boi:** o wait my right ur left

 **Noct:** how the fuck did you get up there

 **chocobo boi:** hardcore parkour man

 **chocobo boi:** find ur way up here tho bc im cold and want cuddles

 **chocobo boi:** no homo

 **Noct:** pfft i'm just gonna phase my ass up there. no one's around anyway

 **Noct:** and i'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you

 **Noct:** no homo

 **chocobo boi:** ...love u bro :")

 **Noct:** love you too bro

 

_chocobo boi is now offline_

 

_\---_

 

_November 30 2016_

_6:57 am_

 

 **Ignis Scientia:** I feel like you two deliberately disobey my rules.

 **Ignis Scienita:** But I agree with Gladio. You two need to get a room.

 **chocobo boi:** idk what ur talking about iggy

 **Ignis Scientia:** Oh. Of course. Allow me to clarify then.

 **Ignis Scienita:** You said, and I quote, "find ur way up here tho bc im cold and want cuddles"

 **Ignis Scienita:** Noct replied, "i'm gonna cuddle the s*** out of you"

 **Ignis Scientia:** Which you said, "love u"

 **Ignis Scientia:** And Noct said, "love you too"

 **Ignis Scientia:** I'm sure I can find more if I scroll up.

 **Gladio:** I think you killed Prom

 **Ignis Scientia:** Good. That means we don't have to deal with them pining for each other.

 **Noct:** i can't believe i'm getting called out like this

 **Ignis Scientia:** So you agree you're both pining for each other?

 **Noct:** nO. didn't you see the 'no homo'??

 **Ignis Scientia:** Yes, I did.

 **Ignis Scientia:** But that only means that you thought of it as homo.

 **Ignis Scientia:** So you clarified that it was "no homo" because you didn't want to make the other uncomfortable.

 **Gladio:** Damn Iggy you know whats up

 **Gladio:** Also Prom where are you going

 **chocobo boi:** i remembered i left my camera on that building brb

 

_chocobo boi is now offline_

 

 **Noct:** i'm going back to bed

 

_Noct is now offline_

 

 **Gladio** **:** Look at them. Runnin from their feelings

 **Ignis Scientia:** I need you to "PM" me. I have something to discuss with you that I can't have these other two know.

 **Gladio:** Oooooooooo alright gotcha

 

\---

 

_November 30 2016_

_11:25 am_

 

 **chocobo boi:** im scared to think about what they were discussing earlier...

 **chocobo boi:** but im curious

 **Noct:** yeah same

 **Noct:** but i try not to think about it

 **chocobo boi:** i feel like theyre planning out funerals or something

 **chocobo boi:** most likely mine since ur the king and they kinda need u

 **Noct:** if i did something to piss iggy off then he wouldn't care if i was king or not so you shut it

 **chocobo boi:** woopS SORRY???

 **Noct:** hey i just got an idea

 **chocobo boi:** im afraid

 **Noct:** SHUSH IT'S NOT EVEN BAD THIS TIME I THINK

 **chocobo boi:** im kiddING whats ur idea??

 **Noct:** let's change their names to something funny

 **chocobo boi:** i cant think of anything for iggy but gladio has to be cup noode

 **Noct:** OHMY SIX IM CACKLING

 **chococbo boi:** i cant even imagine u cackling

 **Noct:** well it's happening so deal with it

 

_Gladio's nickname is now cup noode_

 

 **Noct:** perfecto

 **chocobo boi:** buen trabajo!!

 **Noct:** ok listen i don't know that much spanish did you agree or did you diss me and the name or what

 **chocobo boi:** dude omg

 **Noct:** i only know perfecto, no, si, and mi casa su casa

 **Noct:** and i don't know if i spelled any of those right

 **Noct:** other than no

 **Noct:** and i only know those ironically so they don't even count

 **chocobo boi:** bro

 **chocobo boi:** it means good job wyd

 **chocobo boi:** or i think it does. im not good w spanish either xdd

 **chocobo boi:** but im almost certain thats what it means so its fine!

 **Noct:** of course

 **Noct:** but like i dunno if i can believe you..

 **chocobo boi:** if u love me then u should believe me :"((

 **Noct:** then i guess i'll believe you

 **noct:** no homo

 **chocobo boi:** no homo uwu

 **chocobo boi:** omg hold uP

 **Noct:** ???

 **chocobo boi:** I JSUT FOUND THE CUTEST DOG IVE EVER SEEN !!!!

 **chocobo boi:** brb u already know i gotta go give em some love

 **Noct:** smh prom kids like you go missing because of this stuff

 **chocobo boi:** excUSE ME IM AN ADULT AND WERE THE SAME AGE

 **chocobo boi:** but yo this dog is so nice and so its the owner for letting me pet him

 

_chocobo boi sent a picture_

 

 **chocobo boi:** WITNESS HIM !!!

 **Noct:** oh my six that is a cute puppy i'm tearing up??

 **chocobo boi:** IK NOW RIGHT???

 

_chocobo boi sent a picture_

_chocobo boi sent a picture_

_chocobo boi sent a picture_

 

 **Noct** **:** is that the owner and you in that last one?

 **chocobo boi:** yep!! shes like super nice so i asked to take a selfie w her and she agreed lol

 **Noct:** oh. well.she's pretty. but like not to be mean or anything but i like the pupper more

 **chocobo boi:** man i totes get u i love animals

 **chocobo boi:** hold on

 **Noct:** prom??

 **Noct:** dude it's been like five minutes what's up??

 **Noct:** PROMPTO. TEN MINUTES OF SILENCE IS WORRYING

 **chocobo boi:** im soRRY I GOT CAUGHT UP WITH THAT DOG DDDX

 **Noct:** you ditched our lovely conversation for some chick's dog

 **chocobo boi:** shes not jsut some chick!! shes a dog mom and also loves chocobos!!!!!! :DDD

 **chocobo boi:** and she doesnt tell me my hair looks like a chocobo butt like sOME PEOPLE I KNOW

 **Noct:** just accept that it totally does

 **chocobo boi:** it doES NOT

 **Noct:** suuuuuuure. so i assume you're done making out with that girl now that you're fluently texting me???

 **chocobo boi:** ew noct wtf i wasnt making out with her

 **chocobo boi:** like sure shes pretty and all but um no shes like 30+ years older than me and she has this rlly weird tick that she does sometimes

 **chocobo boi:** like when she laughs for too long shell freeze up and fall over

 **chocobo boi:** but apparently thats normal for her???

 **Noct:** odd indeed...

 **chocobo boi:** ew u sound like ignis

 **Ignis Scientia:** Is that a problem?

 **Noct:** ooooooh busted

 **chocobo boi:** have i ever told u how much i love and cherish u iggy?? :33

 **Ignis Scientia:** No, but I have heard you tell Noct that plenty of times.

 **chocobo boi:** actually u know what forget it im not even sorry anymore

 **chocobo boi:** just when i was about to buy this good lookin spice or whatever for u smh

 **Ignis Scientia:** I can assure you that you are not buying any spices right now and that we don't trust you with the money anyway. I can see you in the Crow's Nest window.

 **Noct:** wait you can see us??

 **Ignis Scientia:** I'll admit, I didn't see Noct until now. But now that I know...

 **cup noode:** Are yall on a date right now

 **Ignis Scientia:** Gladio, you know how they are when we bring this kind of thing up. They'll just deny it like they do their feelings.

 **chocobo boi:** omg no gladio

 **chocobo boi:** OMG IGGY WHAT

 **Noct:** good job prom you fell for it

 **chocobo boi:** SHUSHSHSHSH

 **Noct** **:** but i got here five minutes ago and he was already here so

 **Ignis Scientia:** My guess is he was either eating or playing that arcade game?

 **Noct:** can i say both??

 **chocobo boi:** nO YOU cANAT

 **chocobo boi:** ***CANT

 **Ignis Scientia:** Don't bother correcting yourself. You still end up spelling it wrong anyway.

 **chocobo boi:** but thats how u spell cant??

 **Ignis Scientia:** "Can't" is separated by an apostrophe to show it it actually two words, "can" and "not".

 **chocobo boi:** ummmmm that takes to long to type??

 **Noct:** a single apostrophe???

 **chocobo boi:** yea

 **Ignis Scientia:** I think Prompto is trying to give me a stroke. "Yea" is not pronounced as "yeah". Just so you know.

 **chocobo boi:** then?? how do u say it??

 **Ignis Scientia:** The word "yea" is basically pronounced like "yay". 

 **cup noode:**  How does iggy know this stuff

 **chocobo boi:** maybe hes secretly a super computer ai or soemthing

 **Noct:** but i grew up with him so i doubt it?? actually we all kind of did at some point? and still are???

 **chocobo boi:** ya i kno

 **chocobo boi:** woops  meant *yea

 **Ignis Scientia:** Prompto I am so close to strangling you right about now.

 **chocobo boi:** sounds kinky iggy

 **cup noode:** Kinky lmao

 **chocobo boi:** JINSK

 **Noct:** *jinks

 **chocobo boi:** shut it noct u werent even in this

 **cup noode:** Ya back out bitch boy

 **Noct:** eXCUSE YOU??

 **cup noode:** IM EXCUSED

 **Ignis Scientia:** Is it possible to kick myself out of a chat?

 **Noct:** we're not telling you

 **chocobo boi:** yea u gotta suffer w us

 **cup noode:** You cant escape

 **Ignis Scientia:** I would just mute my phone, but I'm sadly expecting a call. I really can't escape...

 **chocobo boi:**  ur one of us bOI

 **Noct:** ONE OF US

 **cup noode:**  Is this a cult now

 **Ignis Scientia:** I really wish I wasn't part of this group chat right now.

 **Ignis Scientia:** Oh wait, I just remembered I can do this.

 **Noct:** ???

 

_Ignis Scientia is now offline_

 

 **cup noode:** IGGY NO WAIT DONT LEAVE ME WITH THEM

 **Noct:** he can't help you now

 **chocobo boi:** i just realized that like ignis is mom friend and gladio is dad friend

 **Noct:** if ignis was online and saw you called him a mom i'm sure he would kick your ass

 **cup noode:** Your damn right im dad friend. Beat yall to an inch of your life

 **chocobo boi:** chILD ABUSE DDDX

 **Noct:** but wait

 **Noct:** what does that make me and u prom

 **chocobo boi:** idk

 **cup noode:** Boyfriends

 **chocobo boi:** OMFGFDAKFA GLADIO WTF

 **Noct:** cOUGHS why do gladio and iggy ship us so much???

 **chocobo boi:** smh they jsut wanna see the youth get sinful eye emoji

 **cup noode:** Did you just write eye emoji instead of using the actual emoji

 **Noct:** disgusting gladio

 **chocobo boi:** gross gladdy

 **cup noode:** And i got no answer to my question smh

 **Noct:** i'll admit i just read gladdy as daddy and i'm ready for death now

 **chocobo boi:** LKFDJALKF NOCT OML IM CRYING

 **Noct:** but honestly i'm not even ashamed

 **cup noode:** Yall say im sinful

 **chocobo boi:** bc u are gladio smH

 **Noct:** oh i just remembered 

 **Noct:** you now how we were trying to come up with good nicknames for the chat and we didn't know what to make ignis??

 **chocobo boi:** yea

 **Noct:** how about

 **Noct:** specs

 **chocobo boi:** i was expecting something amazing and now im just disappointed

 **Noct:** wtf why are you disappointed it's a wonderful nickname

 **chocobo boi:** u already call him specs tho so it just kills the vibe man

 **Noct:** but my name on here is noct and that isn't creative??

 **chocobo boi:** then ill change it for u

 **Noct:** please don't

 **chocobo boi:** too late dude already thinking of ideas

 **Noct:** prOM PLEASE I'LL DO ANYTHING

 **chocobo boi:** dude chill its a chat name wtf

 **Noct:** yeah but i have luna as a contact on here so she'll make fun of me if she finds out anything

 **chocobo boi:** that info just makes this name change more tempting...

 **Noct:** dUDE OMDLSKJFLDJF NO PLS

 **Noct:** I SAID I'LL DO ANYTHING WHAT MORE COULD YOU WANT

 **chocobo boi:** now u just sound like a desperate prostitute smh

 **cup noode:** I JUST FUCKING SNORTED OH MY SIX PROM

 **chocobo boi:** omg wait that could be his chat name

 **Noct:** PROM NO DON'T DO THAT FKADLSJL

 **chocobo boi:** im so tempted rn

 **Noct:** DON'T DO IT. or else...

 **chocobo boi:** or else what prince noctis?? ;)))

 **Noct:** i'll give you the silent treatment

 **chocobo boi:** ok it didnt sound that bad at first until i realized that would leave just iggy and gladio as the only people willing to talk to me and i dont want that in life :""(

 **Noct:** so you won't do it?

 **chocobo boi:** oh im doin it bc i dont think u can ignore me for long lol fuk u

 

_Noct's nickname is now desperate prostitute_

_desperate prostitute kicked chocobo boi from the group_

 

**cup noode:** Oh shit son

 **desperate prostitute:** don't add him back

 **cup noode:** Dont know how to anyway

 

_desperate prostitute's nickname is now Noct_

 

 **Ignis Scientia:** Add him back before I dump spice in your eyes.

 **Noct:** fuCKEN

 **Noct:** fine

 **Noct:** but where did you get back online?

 **Ignis Scientia:** Gladio sent me a message only minutes after leaving and basically begged that I get back on. Now add Prompto back.

 **cup noode:** I didnt beg smh

 **Noct:** fkajslfkajljfdslkajf

 

_Noct added chocobo boi to the group_

 

 **chocobo boi:** im no longer in silent treatment jail bc that was quick???

 **cup noode:** Noct told me to tell you that you still are so good luck bud

 **Noct:** who are you talking to gladio

 **chocobo boi:** bro :"((

 **Ignis Scientia:** honestly this is more childish than that chocobo moogle outfit you have.

 **Noct:** dunno what you're talking about iggy but i love that outfit so take that back

 **Ignis Scientia:** Not until you talk to Prompto because this is just ridiculous.

 **Noct:** prompto? who's that?

 **chocobo boi:** ok wow harsh dude

 **cup noode:** Get fuckin rekt prom

 **chocobo boi:** listen what if i let u win like three games of kings knight

 **chocobo boi:** or something idk

 **cup noode:** And you called noct a desperate prostitute lmao

 **chocobo boi:** well the difference here is im just on normal prostitute level not desperate ;)))

 **chocobo boi:** yet...

 **Noct:** or something?? like what??

 **Noct:** and what the fuck do you mean yet???

 **chocobo boi:** oh u actually responded to me!!

 **chocobo boi:** told u ya cant ignore me ;DDD

 **Noct:** can we kick this troll out of the chat for good??

 **Ignis Scientia:** If I could kick you out of this group, I would have already.

 **Noct:** not me iggy

 **Noct:** how could you

 **chocobo boi:** hold up why am i also an admin but iggy isnt/?

 **Noct:** shushshshsh we rule over them shshushush

 **chocobo boi:** u already kinda do??

 **chocobo boi** :o wait i getcha now wink wONK

 **cup noode:** I have a question

 **Noct:** no i'm not making you an admin too

 **cup noode:** Not that. I was just talking to aranea and thought we could add her to the chat

 

_Ignis Scientia has left the group_

 

 **Noct:** did

 **Noct:** did iggy just fuckin

 **Noct:** leave the chat??

 **chocobo boi:** well shoot now we gotta kill him

 **cup noode:** That escalated quickly

 **chocobo boi:** IM JUST JOKE IM SORYR

 

_chocobo boi added Ignis Scientia to the group_

 

 **Ignis Scientia:** Why?

 **Noct:** you can't leave

 **chocobo boi:** told u ur one of us smh iffy

 **chocobo boi:** oh gDI *******IGGY

 **chocobo boi:** u kno what just end me

 

_Ignis Scientia's nickname is now iffy_

 

 **Noct:** you're welcome

 **chocobo boi:** NOCT IM LAUGHING

 **iffy:** Are you going to add me back if I leave again?

 **Noct:** yes

 **iffy:**  Well.

 **cup noode:** Are all out names gonna end up being proms spelling errors

 **chocobo boi:** nO

 **Noct:** I sure hope so

 **chocobo boi:** and from now on i will double check my messages

 **Noct:** well good luck with that

 **Noct:** i feel like he's gonna mess up in the next couple of messages

 **chocobo boi:** im not gonna misspell anything u dummy  >:(

  **Noct:** you're the dummy you dummy

 **chocobo boi:** i am...offended???

 **iffy:** I request a name change. Preferably back to my original name.

 **Noct:** no can do iggy

 **Noct:** what the chocoho writes is what you get

 **chocobo boi:** EXCUSE ME

 **chocobo boi:** CHOCOHO???

 **Noct:** oh shit i didn't even see that whoops

 **cup noode:** Chocohoe

 **chocobo boi:** i just witnessed iggy snort his coffee i can die in peace

 **iffy:** Hush Prompto.

 **Noct:** what kind of misspelling karma is this

 **Noct:** whatever i'm using it

 

_chocobo boi's nickname is now chocoHOE_

 

 **chocoHOE:** tbh i would accept this name change but i rlly liked the old one :""(

 **Noct:** me too i already miss it

 **Noct:** but i want you to suffer :)

 **chocoHOE:** have u forgotten that im an admin too

 **Noct:** SHIT

 

_chocoHOE's nickname is now chocobo boi_

 

 **chocobo boi:** smh noct

 **Noct:** i'm so tempted to kick you out of the chat again

 **iffy:** Don't.

 **cup noode:** Yall never answered my thing from earlier??

 **chocobo boi:** what was it again i dont remember. and im to lazy to just scroll up and check xdd

 **Noct:** you mean the aranea thing?

 

_iffy has left the group_

 

 **chocobo boi:** wtf is wrong w him???

 

_Noct has added iffy to the group_

 

 **Noct:** iggy what even

 **cup noode:** IM LAUGHING HOW DO YALL NOT GET IT

 **Noct:** oh wait i think i get it now

 **chocobo boi:** i dont get whatever u both are getting rn

 **iffy:** If you tell Prompto, I will personally cut off both of your tongues.

 **cup noode:** Hes shy lmao

 **iffy:** I am not.

 **chocobo boi:** i still dont get it is this some kinda joke or???

 **Noct:** the only joke here is you

 **chocobo boi:** thiS IS CRUEL AND UNUSUAL PUNISHMENT???

 **Noct:** i'm just kidding. but if you really don't understand what's happening with iggy right now you're very

 **chocobo boi:** very????????

 **Noct:** gladio what's the word i'm looking for i'm having a sudden brain fart

 **cup noode:** Dense?? Oblivious?? I dunno think of your own words

 **Noct:** I CAN'T I KEEP LAUGHING AT IGGY AND HIS CRUUUUUUUUUSH

 **chocobo boi:** what

 **iffy:** Oh my sixhdfsjkalg./

 **chocobo boi:** wait

 **chocobo boi:** wAIT

 **chocobo boi:** IGYG HAS A THING FOR ARANEA!!??

 **iffy:** I do not.

 **Noct:** yeah he does

 **cup noode:** A very big crush on her lmao

 **chocobo boi:** oooooOOOOOOOOOoOOOO

 **chocobo boi:** add her to the chat

 **iffy:** Please don't.

 **chocobo boi:** ill pay u like 50 bucks and give u a back rub or somethin pls noct allow her in the chat

 **iffy:** Noct I'm warning you. Do not.

 **iffy:** She can scroll up and see all this and I don't want her getting the wrong idea.

 **Noct:** i've made up my mind

 **cup noode:** The moment of truth

 

_Noct added Aranea Highwind to the group_

 

 **Aranea Highwind:** the fuck.

 **chocobo boi:** classy as always i see

 **Noct:** welcome to our group chat

 **Noct:** scroll up to see what you missed

 **chocobo boi:** its very interesting indeed ;;;;)

 **Aranea Highwind:** well honestly he wasn't keeping that a secret so i'm not surprised.

 **cup noode:** So she knows. No reason for you to be all embarrassed iggy

 **iffy:** I cannot believe any of this.

 **chocobo boi:** thats no way to greet ur gf smh iffy

 **Noct:** well to be fair she greeted us with the f bomb so...

 **chocobo boi:** oh yea thats tru

 **Aranea Highwind:** i can guess who's who from the names but where the fuck did the idea for the names even come from?

 **Noct:** proms spelling errors mainly

 **Aranea Highwind:** again i guess i'm not surpised.

 **chocobo boi:** hEY

 **Aranea Highwind:** yes?

 **chocobo boi:** um

 **chocobo boi:** nvm its nothing sorry

 **cup noode:** Lmao shut doooooown

 **chocobo boi:** shut it gladio!!

 **Noct:** also what happened to ignis? he hasn't said anything for a while now but i can see he's still online???

 

_iffy is now offline_

 

 **Noct:** ok wow

 **cup noode:** We should all go soon though

 **Aranea Highwind:** can't wait to see what happens now.

 **chocobo boi:** yea same lmao

 **chocobo boi:** but im gonna go for a run see ya!!!

 

_chocobo boi is now offline_

 

 **Noct:** i'll just go with him. later

 

_Noct is now offline_

 

 **cup noode:** Smh i dont understand how theyre not boyfriends yet

 **Aranea Highwind:** oh so those two aren't dating yet? i thought they were already together.

 **cup noode:** Nope. Both are too awkward and basically oblivious to the whole thing. Or they just try to avoid it.

 **Aranea Highwind:** pussy boys.

 **cup noode:** For real. But i gotta go so catch ya later

 **Aranea Highwind:** alright.

 

_cup noode is now offline_

_Aranea Highwind is now offline_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was a long chapter that will prolly never happen again  
> unless i make the next chapter accidentally long too
> 
> might just be random
> 
> but anyWAY thanks for reading hope u enjoyed xdd
> 
>  
> 
> (PS the dog mom chick was based off of osomatsu-sans "homura" chick ((aka jyushimatsus almost gf)) just fYI)


	3. the promptis fangirl

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luna: rest in peace Prompto. :(
> 
> chocobo boi: thank u im ready for death now
> 
> Luna: oh my..! I was just joking. I thought the sad face would show that. :"(
> 
> Luna: but that other sad face wasn't me joking though. that was me being sad.
> 
> chocobo boi: um

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this took longer than i thought it would. school started back up and hoLY FUCK
> 
> im just glad i have nothing of major importance that i should be doing right now lmao  
> (is that how english works like why does that sentence sound so weird to me??)
> 
> NOTE that luna is basically the people reading this story [yeah i called yall out whatcha gonna say about it >:D]
> 
> anywho heres this thing now im going to bed lmaoo

_December 1 2016_

_7:23 am_

 

 **chocobo boi:** OML

 **chocobo boi:** I WANT TO DIE?? WHY WERE U GUYS TALKING ABOUT THAT YESTERDAY IM SCERAEMIGN???

 **Noct:** i just choked on my own spit i can't believe

 **chocobo boi:** I CRAVE DEATH???

 **Aranea Highwind:** so that's a no or..?

 **chocobo boi:** of couRSE ITS A NO WTF

 **Aranea Highwind:** are you sure because..???

 **Noct:** huge no

 **chocobo boi:** we no homo

 **Noct:** yeah. just a bromance

 **chocobo boi:** bromance???

 **Noct:** bromance

 **chocobo boi:** bromance

 **Aranea Highwind:** i'm

 **Aranea Highwind:** you two aren't that slick you know this right?

 **chocobo boi:** what do u mean????

 **cup noode:** I wouldnt try. They end up changing the subject anyway

 **Aranea Highwind:** i'm just surpised they're not together yet.

 **Aranea Highwind:** or maybe it's because noctis has to marry the oracle?

 **cup noode:** Dunno but i doubt thats the reason

 **cup noode:** But speaking of lunafreya why havent we added her either

 **Noct:** no way man luna would flip

 **chocobo boi:** whaddya mean??

 **Noct:** well

 **Noct:** i don't want to make this weird but

 **Noct:** she is probably worse than gladio ignis and aranea together when it comes to shipping us together??

 **Aranea Highwind:** you mean your bride-to-be even wants you two together?

 **Noct:** yep...for whatever reason??

 **Aranea Highwind:** how dense can you get?

 **chocobo boi:** im hoenstly in tears rn

 **cup noode:** HOEnstly

 **chocobo boi:** STOP

 

_Aranea Highwind's nickname is now (hoe)nstly_

 

 **(hoe)nstly:** are you trying to tell me something?

 **Noct:** no i just thought it would be funny

 **(hoe)nstly:** i detect lies but whatever.

 **(hoe)nstly:** but add oracle.

 **Noct:** but

 **cup noode:** Dont but her mister

 **Noct:** that sounds vaguely kinky

 **cup noode:** This is what i mean when i say they change the subject

 **(hoe)nstly:** ah. i see.

 **Noct:** KLDJFLAKDAFL FINE but gladio i'll remember this

 **cup noode:** Pffft k whatever

 

_Noct has added Luna to the chat_

 

 **Noct:** she's not even online right now so we just gotta fill up the chat so much that she can't see anything of me and prom even saying anything to each other

 **cup noode:** Most of the chat history is mainly you and prom saying things to each other

 **Noct:** oh gods you're right

 **chocobo boi:** is luna really as shippy as u say she is or are u exaggerating???

 **Noct:** you just have to trust me

 **Noct:** and watch what you say to me

 **chocobo boi:** aight i trust ya

 **Noct:** shit like that gets her hyped you already failed

 **chocobo boi:** WTF??? am i suppose to bully u or something what is this

 **Noct:** i think that might make it worse in a masochistic way?? she has no bounds man

 **chocobo boi:** then what am i suppose to do?? not talk to u?? bc u kno i cant do that man :"(

 **(hoe)nstly:** don't even try. you both know it's useless.

 **chocobo boi:** I SEE SHES ONLINE NOW LFKJADSLKFJLAKS

 **Luna:** I have been summoned.

 **Luna:** and yes, you cannot hide your constant texting in a wave of unrelated texting from me.

 **Luna:** because I will find it. :)

 **Noct:** i want to die

 **chocobo boi:** im already dying

 **(hoe)nstly:** i'm actually laughing at this.

 **Luna:** may you both rest in peace. together.

 **Noct:** LUNA PLEASE

 **Luna:** I will not spare you until you accept it.

 **Luna:** maybe not even after that.

 **chocobo boi:** im throwing myself off a cliff right as we speak

 **iffy:** Prom, I thought we banned you from throwing yourself off cliffs.

 **iffy:** And hello Lady Lunafreya, it's nice to see you here.

 **Luna:** likewise!

 **cup noode:** I thought luna would text like how iggy does but im actually kinda surprised

 **Luna:** well I do not text very often. I apologize if it seems odd to you.

 **cup noode:** Nah its fine. Better than proms

 **chocobo boi:** hEY

 **Noct:** oh hey i actually have something serious and important to report

 **iffy:** This is concerning and suspicious.

 **Noct:** so is this guy i'm about to talk about

 **cup noode:** Already think i know who

 **chocobo boi:** ??????well??????

 **Noct:** i was walking around earlier this morning and i think i saw that ardyn dude again. do you think he's following us or??

 **(hoe)nstly:** most likely. he's a creep like that.

 **iffy:** We need to keep our guard up if that is the case.

 **chocobo boi:** ew im already getting creepy tingles just thinkin about him uGH

 **chocobo boi:** he makes me so

 **chocobo boi:** uncomfortable???

 **Luna:** I hope you all are okay. he's not around you as of now, right?

 **iffy:** Hopefully not. Problem is we are all a bit split up at the moment.

 **iffy:** Speaking of which (and the reason I'm on this chat in the first place), Noct where are you?

 **Noct:** walking around with iris

 **Noct:** she says hi

 **cup noode:** Hey

 **chocobo boi:** hi!!!

 **iffy:** Hello.

 **chocobo boi:** but imma be honest it does kinda feel like someones following me?? or maybe just the mention of ardyn makes me feel like im in a scary movie or soemthing lol

 **cup noode:** I mean you should be able to spot him out real quick

 **Noct:** yeah he's not one that really blends in with the crowd

 **chocobo boi:** ok see thats kinda a problem since im in the forest??

 **Noct:** why the fuck are you in the forest

 **chocobo boi:** lISTEN ok i was tryin to be nice and get some of these ingredients for iggy since he helped me with something the other day and my arms are kinda full and i was about to leaVE BUT THIS WHOLE TIME ITS LIEK I HEAR MY FOOTSTEPS BEING ECHOED BUT WHEN I STOP THE NO

 **chocobo boi:** sorry hit send to quick lemme continue THE NOISE TAKES A MOMENT TO DO SO LIKE ITS A COUPLE EXTRA SHUFFLES AND i actually really think i might be getting stalked??

 **chocobo boi:** i just hope its like a baby chocobo or something im tryin not to cry so its all good

 **Noct:** i gotta go on a man hunt for you now sigh...

 **chocobo boi:** nah its cool im heading back rn

 **chocobo boi:** but if i dont say anything in the chat for longer than 10 minutes without meeting up w one of u then just assume im already dead k thanks

 **(hoe)nstly:** gotcha.

 **chocobo boi:** ok WOW

 **(hoe)nstly:** what?

 **chocobo boi:** nothinG

 **Luna:** I hope you make it back safely. :(

 **chocobo boi:**  oh yea im sure i will dont worry about it lol

 **Noct:** i'm still going on that man hunt. i will find you.

 **chocobo boi:** dude its aight im out of the woods now

 **chocobo boi:** imma road wanderer now

 **iffy:** Everyone is in the car and hopefully heading your way.

 **chocobo boi:** wtf??? yALL I SAID IM FINE???

 **cup noode:** And ?

 **Noct:** we're still coming to get you so shut it

 **(hoe)nstly:** some nice friends you got.

 **Luna:** I feel the need to inform you that I am honestly squealing right now...

 **chocobo boi:** um why???

 **Noct:** us prom. she's squealing. at us.

 **Luna:** Gentiana is giving me the look for it too.

 **Luna:** and I am not sorry.

 **Noct:** wait is she giving you //the// look or just the normal glare look

 **Luna:** um...

 **Luna:** //the// look? I guess?

 **chocobo boi:** idk if this is rude (which is noT my intention sorry) but lady lunafreya almost doesnt seem like the oracle??

 **chococbo boi:** imeanli ke via text she doesnt its like shes just anomral everyday chick texting ya knoW what i mean im not saying shes non oracle material or naything that is nt wha tim eant i just mean shes funnier than i thought shed be im sorry

 **Luna:** aww, it's alright Prompto. I get told that on occasion. Also, just call me Luna. :)

 **chocobo boi:** omG why are u so sweet???

 **Noct:** watch out she's not as sweet as she seems. she can punch a hole in a cement block.

 **Luna:** I cannot. only a wall.

 **cup noode:** Whoa luna needs to stop with all these surpise facts i would have never know about her

 **chocobo boi:** hes joking pls continue

 **Noct:** prom is that you up ahead?

 **chocobo boi:** if u see a guy holding ten different foods in one hand and texting in the other then yee prolly

 **Luna:** then the chat goes silent...

 **(hoe)nstly:** my bet is they either ran the kid over or him and Noct are just making out in the back seat.

 **Luna:** I severely hope for the second option.

 **chocobo boi:** ARANEA I WILL KICK U FROM THIS CHAT I SWEAR TO ME MUM

 **(hoe)nstly:** swear to your mom huh?

 **chocobo boi:** well it was a joke

 **(hoe)nstly:** huh?

 **chocobo boi:** noTHING not like it matters lmao

 **chocobo boi:** so whats up yall??

 **(hoe)nstly:** killing time. making my way back to gralea. gotta pick up shit. throw it off somewhere. probably going to take a nap somewhere in between. ya know whatever.

 **(hoe)nstly:** what about you mrs oracle? i can see you're still online.

 **Luna:** oh yes, pardon me. I was just scrolling through the chat. What about you Prompto? :)

 **chocobo boi:** listening to noct and gladio argue and iggy threathen hes gonna turn the car around. and im turning the volume of the radio as high as i can without getting slapped

 **(hoe)nstly:** in other words you're just making hell for ignis?

 **chocobo boi:** ur bf? yea. its scary when hes mad but its funny making him mad

 **chocobo boi:** fuck i forgoT THEIS WAS THE GROUPCHAT HE WILL SEE THIS WHEN WE STPO

 **Luna:** rest in peace Prompto. :(

 **chocobo boi:** thank u im ready for death now

 **Luna:** oh my..! I was just joking. I thought the sad face would show that. :"(

 **Luna:** but that other sad face wasn't me joking though. that was me being sad.

 **chocobo boi:** um

 **(hoe)nstly:** the fuck?

 **chocobo boi:** aRANEA THIS IS THE ORACLE UR SPEAKING TOO (butmetootbh)

 **Luna:** it's quite alright. it's not like i'm perfect at controlling my speech myself.

 **chocobo boi:** excuse me for this question but are u sayING U CURSE??? eye emoji

 **Luna:** why do you ask?

 **chocobo boi:** why are u avoiding the wuestiion?

 **chocobo boi:** **question idk what happened there um

 **Luna:** hehehe. but to answer your question, not really. or not the major curses i see you type in the chat.

 **chocobo boi:** ah i gotcha wiNKS

 **Luna:** winks ;)

 **chocobo boi:** OMG

 **chocobo boi:** IM LAUGHIGN

 **(hoe)nstly:** i wasn't expecting that either wow

 **Luna:** did I do something odd?

 **chocobo boi:** nah ur just rlly funny tbh i caNT BELIEVE

 **Luna:** aww. well I am glad to have made you laugh. :) I'm actually not very funny so this comes as a surprise.

 **chocobo boi:** when u and noct get married ur gonna be like the ultimate meme dream team yo

 **Luna:**  I thought the meme dream team marriage is you and Noctis. :)

 **chocobo boi:** NEVERMIND I TAKE BACK WHAT I SAID ABOUT U

 **Luna:** :(

 **chocobo boi:** no. no emoji faces will make me feel bad. u did done it now

 **Luna:** :"(

 **chocobo boi:** it aint gonna work

 **Luna:** :"((

 **chocobo boi:** pls no

 **Luna:** :" <

 **chocobo boi:** ok fine i take back my take back iM SORRY

 **(hoe)nstly:** how did that actually work?

 **Luna:** hehehe~

 **chocobo boi:** i feel like i need to go buy u something now but idk what to buy u that would make u happy??

 **chocobo boi:** but i also dunno how i could deliver it to u?

 **Luna:** you do not need to buy me anything. I didn't think my texting faces would be...this powerful?

 **chocobo boi:** too powerful

 **(hoe)nstly:** i still have no idea why that even worked on you and i can't tell if you're just turning this into a joke or..?

 **Luna:** I'm not sure either. does this only effect Prompto?

 **Noct:** no

 **Luna:** Noct!!! :D

 **chocobo boi:** MY H E A R T !!!

 **Noct:** i feel revived

 **Luna:** I am confused?

 **chocobo boi:** SO INNOCENT

 **Noct:** TOO INNOCENT

 **iffy:** I don't understand why you two are acting oddly.

 **cup noode:** Most likely cause theyre tired

 **cup noode:** And hungry

 **chocobo boi:** hired

 **chocobo boi:** fuck i tried making a word combo of tired and hungry but hired is alreayd a word

 **Noct:** tungry?

 **Noct:** tingry?

 **chocobo boi:** TINGRY OMG

 **Noct:** tingry

 **iffy:** They are most definitely tired and hungry. Food will be ready shortly so just wait until then.

 **Luna:** *tingry

 **chocobo boi:** OMGG

 **Noct:** LUNA I CAN'T BELIEVE

 **Luna:** hehehe :)

 **iffy:** Lady Lunafreya, I ask you kindly to not encourage them.

 **Luna:** oh, I'm sorry. I'll try to stop. :(

 **Noct:** luna you don't gotta take iggy seriously

 **chocobo boi:** yea he cant control u lmao

 **iffy:** But I can control both of you. Help Gladio pack up the tent and supplies into the car or no Kings Knight tonight.

 

_chocobo boi is now offline_

_Noct is now offline_

 

 **(hoe)nstly:** wow

 **Luna:** what is kings knight?

 **iffy:** A game they enjoy playing. I suppose it's not that bad.

 **(hoe)nstly:** so you like gaming huh? nerd.

 **iffy:** Sometimes gaming is a helpful stress reliever. And I am not.

 **Luna:** oh!!! :3

 **iffy:**  What is it?

 **Luna:** nothing!! I just thought you two sound cute together!! :)

 **iffy:** i see what Noct and Prom feel when we do this to them now.

 **(hoe)nstly:** thanks oracle

 **iffy:** Don't encourage her!

 **iffy:** Lady Lunafreya, allow me to clear up some misunderstanding.  Me and Aranea are not a couple, therefore we are not "cute together".

 **cup noode:** Smh we got two "not" couples pining for each other and both refuse it

 **(hoe)nstly:** i wasn't refusing anything.

 **Luna:** GO TO HER IGNIS.

 **(hoe)nstly:** he can't.

 **Luna:** why not? :(

 **(hoe)nstly:** because. i'm in a big ass airship heading to neflheim and he's travelling with the prince to meet you or something.

 **Luna:** aww that's too bad. safe travels everyone!

 

_iffy is now offline_

 

 **cup noode:** Why do all of them run from their feelings

 **(hoe)nstly:** not sure. but i am sure that if i don't go to bed soon i'll pass out on these nasty ass floors so i'm going to sleep.

 **Luna:** well good night! or morning I guess.

 **(hoe)nstly:** pfft thanks. later.

 

_(hoe)nstly is now offline_

 

 **cup noode:** I gotta go too. Ill be sure to get you some blackmail shippy shit on prom and noct. and anything with iggy and aranea if something happens.

 **Luna:** you're a life saver Gladiolus. :")

 **cup noode:** This is just my payback for not making with my cup noodle craving last night so its not a problem. Later

 **Luna:** bye!!

 

_cup noode is now offline_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THATS IT SORRY IT TOOK TEN YEARS
> 
> also i have a question for you guys:
> 
> how do you think ardyn would type if he were added to a group chat?  
> :)


	4. where everybody but noct accepts his true self

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luna: does prince noctis is gay??  
> Noct: what the fuck luna

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have terrible update schedule i apologize hah a  
> but here's this dumb shit  
> enjoy

_December 2_

_7:34 PM_

 

 **Luna:** the chat has been rather dead all day...

 **Luna:** and I don't know how to tell if someone is online or not.

 **(hoe)nstly:** I'm here but not sure for how long. I've been pretty busy lately and I think I deserve a nap.

 **Luna:** do you ever sleep? I think you've said something like that before..

 **(hoe)nstly:** not really. I just sleep when I have nothing better to do. I can't sleep much since I daemon hunt at night and make trips during the day.

 **Luna:** that is unhealthy! you should try sleeping tonight and not go daemon hunting.

 **(hoe)nstly:** can't. that how I make a living now??

 **Luna:** I will send you money if I have to just please /go to sleep at a decent time/

 **(hoe)nstly:** /adding these things doesn't make you look serious./

 **Luna:** aw man :"(

 **chocobo boi:** i feel bad for laughing and i came here to apologize

 **Luna:** what is it that you were laughing at?

 **chocobo boi:** well uh

 **chocobo boi:** i was laughin at u then i felt bad so im like reALly sorRy??

 **Luna:** oh! that's not a problem silly! no need to apologize :)

 **Noct:** did you just call prom "silly"?

 **Luna:** yes...is that weird?

 **Noct:** no but i got stuck with sudden inspiration to change his username

 **chocobo boi:** noct no pls i love my name :"00

 **Noct:** but prom

 **Noct:** you a..../silly boi/ wiNKS

 **(hoe)nstly:** /these things still don't mean anything why do you guys keep doing it./

 **chocobo boi:** no pls i wanna keep the chocobo

 **chocobo boi:**  bro stop snickering i will throw a pillow at u

 **chocobo boi:** and take out ur headphones so iggy can actually yell at u about ur loud music. we can all here ur sharkira song u aint slick

 **Noct:** my music isn't loud

 **chocobo boi:** buLLSHIT

 **chocobo boi:** sorry luna :(

 **Noct:** mY HIPS DON'T LIE PROM

 **chocobo boi:** tru

 **Noct:** what

 **chocobo boi:** I DIDNT MEAN ITLIKE THAT NOCT DSAKLFJLK NO HOMO.??/

 **Noct:** yeah. no homo. right.

 **(hoe)nstly:** i'm so glad i am still logged in because this is gold.

 **Luna:** I just screamed into a pillow I can't believe this is happening right before me. what did I do to deserve this great blessing before my eyes?

 **chocobo boi:** oh six what have i done

 **Noct:** i almost want to kick myself from the chat

 **chocobo boi:** not before i do

 

_chocobo boi has left the chat_

 

 **Noct:** what

 **Noct:** OH MY SIX HE ACTUALLY LEFT

 **(hoe)nstly:** add your boyfriend back.

 **Noct:** he'S NOT MY BOYFRIEND OH MY FUCK

 **Luna:** I'll add him back!

 **Luna:** if i can figure out how to...

 **Noct:** you're not an admin. only me and prom can kick and add people and such

 **Luna:** can i be an admin?

 **Noct:** sorry luna but me and prom have a rule over everyone so we can't let anyone else have intense power

 **Luna:** please :"(

 **Noct:** fuCKIngFJDAKS

 **Noct:** ok fine but don't abuse the power or we will kick you from the chat

 **Luna:** understood :)

 **Noct:** hmmmmmm power granted. now hold up i'm adding prom back

 

_Noct added chocobo boi to the chat_

 

 **chocobo boi:** that took longer than i thought it would

 **chocobo boi:** for a sec i thought u guys werent gonna add me back sobs

 **Noct:** luna somehow got me to add her as an admin

 **chocobo boi:** now im less in the ranking lmao

 **chocobo boi:** cuz theres u (the prince) then luna (the oracle)

 **chocobo boi:** then theres me (the gun guy??/?)

 **Noct:** so? not like rank matters. this is a group chat prom

 **chocobo boi:** SHHSUHSUSH it matters. but did luna try her new powers yet EYE EMOJI HUEHUEHUE

 **Luna:** I am about to. or well I'm testing to see if this will actually work...

 **chocobo boi:** oh ho ho?? :::0

 

_chocobo boi's nickname is now noct's boyfriend_

_Noct has kicked Luna from the chat_

 

 **noct's boyfriend:** oH MY GODS

 **noct's boyfriend:** YOU SHOULD HAVE NERV GIVEN EHER POWER

 **(hoe)nstly:** i'm lauhging so hard right now it hurts oh my six.

 **(hoe)nstly:** *laughing

 **noct's boyfriend:** SOMEON HELP I SPTI SOUP ALL OVER MY PHFANE SCREEN ANDITS SMUDIG EVERYING

 **Noct:** JUST USE YOUR SHIRT TO WIPE THE FUCKING SOUP OFF I'LL FIX YOUR NAMASDFLJ

 **Noct:** alfdkj ls

 **cup noode:** I took both their phones. That name is staying

 **cup noode:** Also iggy is about to add luna back using nocts phone

 **(hoe)nstly:** please hurry. i need more screenshots and it doesn't feel right without seeing luna's name in the promptis texts.

 

_Noct added Luna to the chat_

 

 **Luna:** wow you added me back!!!

 **Luna:** oh wait no Ignis did. thank you!!

 **Luna:** OH MY GOODNESS THEY HAVEN'T CHANGED THE NAME YET!!!! :D

 **Luna:** I am

 **Luna:** so happy right now

 **cup noode:** Heads up noct managed to get his phone back from iggy

 

_noct's boyfriend's nickname is now chocobo boi_

 

 **Noct:** we are never giving anybody authority

 **Noct:** EVER. AGAIN.

 **Luna:** I didn't know any better! I said I was just testing it :(

 **Noct:** liar

 **Luna:** :"c

 **Noct:** that trick won't work with me right now so don't even try

 **Luna:** aw man...

 **cup noode:** No worries luna. I managed to get some pics that i promised yesterday

 **Luna:** :O DID YOU REALLY?

 **chocobo boi:** im back and what pics???

 

_cup noode sent a picture_

_cup noode sent a picture_

_cup noode sent a picture_

_cup noode sent a picture_

 

 **Luna:** I'M SCREAMING!!! :DDD

 **Noct:** ME TOO WTF WHY DO YOU SUDDENLY HAVE A SHIT TON OF PHTOOTS OF ME AND PROM WHAT IS THSI

 **chocobo boi:** learn to spELL

 **Noct:** SHUT IT WHY AREN'T YOU FREAKIGN OUT

 **chocobo boi:** shruGS???

 **cup noode:** Not just you and prom but also iggy and aranea from this morning

 

_cup noode sent a picture_

_cup noode sent a picture_

_cup noode sent a picture_

 

 **(hoe)nstly:** whoa.

 **Luna:** DO MY ORACLE EYES DECIEVE ME ARE THEY LOWKEY HOLDING HANDS UNDER THAT TABLE AHHHHHHHH

 **(hoe)nstly:** did the oracle just say lowkey?

 **cup noode:** Yep and yep

 **Luna:** I feel like I will faint any second now ahHHH

 **chocobo boi:** ok i have a question about that last pic w me and noct???

 **cup noode:** Whats your question

 **chocobo boi:** why dont i remember that??

 **cup noode:** Thats what happens when you "accidentally" fall asleep on someone in public prom

 **chocobo boi:** so u didnt photoshop me in there or anything? like that legit happened?? and when were u the one takin pictures???  >:"(

 **cup noode:** Chill it was just quick pics i took on my phone nothing fancy like yours. Also the hells photoshop

 **iffy:** I logged in to inform you all that I just witnessed Noctis save that last photo of him and Prompto.

 **Noct:** i diDNIT

 **Luna:** awww!! that's so sweet Noct! :"D

 **chocobo boi:** u lyin iggy??

 **iffy:** I would not lie about such matters.

 **Noct:** he totally iS i mean look at him

 **chocobo boi:** im not should believe tbh

 **iffy:** Believe whatever and whoever you want.

 **Noct:** me??

 **chocobo boi:** ive

 **chocobo boi:** never been so conflicted in my life um

 **Noct:** but bro

 **chocobo boi:** iM SORRY BRO I JUST

 **chocobo boi:** so confused??

 **chocobo boi:** like outta all those pics u could have saved (or possibly saved im still not sure) why that last one i look so fat??

 **Noct:** you

 **Noct:** ok wow

 **chocobo boi:** what??

 **Noct:** i thought you were going to freak out over 'no homo' but you're more concerned with how you look

 **chocobo boi:** is it homo tho?? its just a pic of us legit sleeping i dont understand??

 **chocobo boi:**  also for that look thing... i mean i didnt have the courage to even talk to u until i looked presentable in highschool so idk why ur calling me out like this

 **Noct:** it looks pretty homo but if you don't have a problem with that forget it

 **Noct:** alsO you legit could have talked to me any time before highschool it's not like i was gonna judge you or anything wtf prom

 **chocobo boi:** HUSUSHSHSH im insecure ok sobsob :"00

 **cup noode:** So did you save that pic or not

 **Noct:** um

 **Noct:** ok yeah i did so what?

 **(hoe)nstly:** you're so gay bro just date him already.

 **Noct:** whAT

 **Luna:** does prince noctis is gay???

 **Noct:** what the fuck luna

 **Luna:** or do I even need to ask if it's obvious?

 **(hoe)nstly:** i'm crying from laughing so hard i can't.

 **cup noode:** The oracle just roasted you noct

 **Luna:** hehehe~

 **chocobo boi:** im done dont add me back bye

 

_chocobo boi has left the chat_

 

 **Luna:** he left again :"(

 **cup noode:** Take shots every time prom leaves the chat

 **Noct:** you scared him away luna GG

 **(hoe)nstly:** no you did with your overwhelming gayness.

 **iffy:** Well, I don't think your Highness is gay...

 **Noct:** thank you ignis

 **iffy:** I believe he's bi.

 **Noct:** IGNIS NO

 

_Noct's name is now overwhelmingly bi_

 

 **overwhelmingly bi:** OKAY WHO THE FUCK

 **Luna:** just to inform you, you never did take away my power

 **Luna:** i was going to wait and use it for a better purpose and I saw an opportunity

 

_Luna added chocobo boi to the chat_

 

 **chocobo boi:** luna why

 **Luna:** luna because I can

 **Luna:** that sounded cooler in my head I regret it now

 **overwhelmingly bi:** you no longer have power luna

 **chocobo boi:** IM LAUGHIGN AT NOCTS NAME LMAO

 **overwhelmingly bi:** PROM NO

 **chocobo boi:** please keep it like that its so beautiful

 **overwhelmingly bi:** no fuck you

 **Luna:** please do the diddly do with him

 **Luna:** have babies

 **chocobo boi:** luna ily and all but u make me really uncomfortable

 **overwhelmingly bi:** and we're both guys so if we happened to do the fuck we still couldn't have babies??

 **(hoe)nslty:** "to do the fuck"

 **overwhelmingly bi:** shut up hetero

 **cup noode:** He took his new username to heart

 **overwhelmingly bi:** i didn't realize what i typed until i sent it please ignore that oh fuCK

 **Luna:** I CAN'T BREATH OH MY GOODNESS

 **chocobo boi:** ME EITHER THIS IS GREAT OMGOMG

 **overwhelmingly bi:** i hate myself i can't believe this

 

_iffy sent a picture_

 

 **iffy:** I thought Lady Lunafreya would appreciate this photo.

 **Luna:** I DO LOOK AT THEM IT'S SO P U R E !!

 **overwhelmingly bi:** iggy you're fired

 **(hoe)nstly:** Prom looks like he's having the time of his life and Noct just looks so bitter.

 **chocobo boi:** im honestly having the best time rn this is great omg

 

_chocobo boi is now offline_

 

 **cup noode:** To inform the ladies of the chat that are not here with us noct just punched prom in the gut and now prom is doubled over with pain

 **Luna:** I'm sorry but just imagining that made me laugh woops?

 **(hoe)nstly:** I ain't sorry but I'm still laughing.

 **iffy:** Update: Noct is now apologizing profusely and is now nursing Prompto back to health.

 **Luna:** aww now that's sweet :"D

 **(hoe)nstly:** so he takes care of his boyfriend after sucker punching him. so sweet.

 **Luna:** ARANEA I SNORTED AND IT HURT I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY

 **(hoe)nstly:** very happy indeed I can't imagine you being a snort laugher.

 **(hoe)nslty:** but i gotta go to bed soon. Night.

 **Luna:** HUSH but ok good night!!

 **cup noode:** Later

 **iffy:** Good night.

 

_(hoe)nstly is now offline_

 

 **iffy:** I think we should all head off to bed soon. We have many things to do tomorrow.

 **cup noode:** Ugh i can already hear the complaints

 **iffy:** It will be quite bothersome...

 **Luna:** aww. I hope you get your stuff done without problems tomorrow :(

 **iffy:** Thank you. I'm going to bed. Good night.

 **cup noode:** Same. Night luna

 **Luna:** good night you two!!

 

_cup noode is now offline_

_iffy is now offline_

_Luna is now offline_

_overwhelmingly bi has added AI to the chat_

_overwhelmingly bi is now offline_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> guess who's comin up next chapter huehuehue eye emoji
> 
>  
> 
> (and again any mistakes u find that are not on purpose i apologize i dont really check over this as i type lmao 
> 
> and im also sorry i only update when its like 3 in the morning woops??)


	5. the chapter where everyone is sleep deprived

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (hoe)nstly: can i kick myself from this chat
> 
> overwhelmingly bi: not unless you can kick harambe's dead monkey ass from the grave

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> soRRY THIS TOOK 10 YEARS BUT GUESS WHOS BACK AT IT AGAIN  
> school has been shit but i've been on break and it's fuckin 4:30 in the morning when i though "hey i need to update that shit"
> 
> like this chapter has been done for almost a month or two and i never got around to posting it i'm so sorry i'm already working on the next one pls forgive me

_December 3_

_3:15 am_

 

 **chocobo boi:** wait noct who did u add yesterday???

 **overwhelmingly bi:**  first off why are you up it's like 3 in the morning

 **overwhelmingly bi:**  second i didn't add anyone yesterday so now i'm concerned??

 **overwhelmingly bi:** i'm not even friends with this AI guy????

 **chocobo boi:** HACKER!!1!

 **Luna:** maybe it's AI as in artificial intelligence?

 **chocobo boi:** maybe....

 **chocobo boi:** is it here to like record us or something??

 **overwhelmingly bi:** hold up i'll kick it out

 **chocobo boi:** BEGONE THOT @ AI

 

_overwhelmingly bi has kicked AI from the chat_

 

 **overwhelmingly bi:** the deed is done

 **chocobo boi:** my hero noct :"D

 **Luna:** oMG

 **chocobo boi:** aaaaaaaaaaand i forgot luna was here

 **Luna:** never forget or you'll regret

 **chocobo** **boi:** dont rhyme xdd

 

_overwhelmingly bi has added AI to the chat_

 

 **overwhelmingly bi:** wait

 **overwhelmingly bi:** what

 **chocobo boi:** dude i think ur trying to freak me out

 **overwhelmingly bi:** prom i swear i didn't add it back

 **overwhelmingly bi:** you think my account got hacked??

 **(hoe)nstly:** probably

 

_overwhelmingly bi has kicked AI from the chat_

 

 **overwhelmingly bi:** if it comes back i'll just banned them

 **chocobo boi:** man i would have blocked em the second time tbh

 **iffy:** It would be advisable to not let it enter the chat if you do not know them.

 **overwhelmingly bi:** yes of course thanks mom

 **(hoe)nstly:** block them.

 **cup noode:** Expose them noct

 **overwhelmingly bi:** do you think it's a real person or is it some ai virus?

 **chocobo boi:** hacker fo sho

 **iffy:** Let us hope it is just a virus. We could always get your phone repaired.

 **cup noode:** Im with prom on this

 **(hoe)nstly:** same.

 

_overwhelmingly bi has added AI to the chat_

 

 **overwhelmingly bi:** OH MY SHIT FUCK GKDSLAJF

 **chocobo boi:** IT'S BAAAAAAAAACK!!!

 **Luna:** do you think it would answer us if we asked it something?

 **AI:** Yes.

 **chocobo boi:** OH MY GODSIT TALKS BLOCK IT BLOCK IT BLOCKIT

 **overwhelmingly bi:** who are you?

 **cup noode:** No answer huh

 **Luna:** this is scary!! D:

 **overwhelmingly bi:** revel yourself or i will block you from this chat

 **AI:** You should know who I am, Prince Noctis.

 

_overwhelmingly bi has blocked AI form the chat_

 

 **chocobo boi:** tOOK YOULO NG ENOUGH

 **overwhelmingly bi:** i don't like where that was going

 **iffy:** We should be careful from here on out.

 **Luna:** I am praying for you guys. :"(

 

_overwhelmingly bi has added AI to the chat_

 

 **overwhelmingly bi:** OKAY HOLD THE FUCK UP

 **chocobo boi:** i am the fuck up pls hold me

 **overwhelmingly** **bi:** now is not the time for tumblr posts prom

 **chocobo boi:** i knOW AND IMS ORRY im just in panic mode rn

 **iffy:** We demand to know who you are.

 **AI:** take a wild guess...

 **overwhelmingly bi:** oh wait i know who you are

 **chocobo boi:** yoU DO???

 

_AI's nickname is now dicklick_

 

 **chocobo boi:** i would laugh but im honestly afraid if u pissed it off

 **Luna:** NOCT D:

 **(hoe)nstly:** i'm proud of you, ya brave little bastard...

 **iffy:** Noctis, you shouldn't be making a joke of this.

 **dicklick:** Very mature of you, your Highness.

 **chocobo boi:** question tho

 **chocobo boi:** do u really know who they are noct??

 **overwhelmingly bi:** not a clue i just wanted to be a dick to them lol

 **iffy:** Try reporting them.

 **dicklick:** It won't work~~~~

 **chocobo boi:** ok now i have a question for dicklick

 **dicklick:**  Do not call me dicklick and I may reply.

 **chocobo boi:** sorry my bad dont hack me next pls thanks

 **chocobo boi:** bbbBUT

 **chocobo boi:** are u a boi?

 **dicklick:** I am me as you are you.

 **dicklick:** But are you really you, Mr.Argentum?

 **(hoe)nstly:** sounds deep but made no fucking sense.

 **cup noode:** Its understandable to know nocts name but how does it know proms

 **chocobo boi:** would it be manly of me to cry rn or will yall make fun of me?? :"(

 **Luna:** it's always okay to cry! everyone does it. :)

 **(hoe)nstly:** don't cry that's a pussy move.

 **iffy:** Do not show weakness to the enemy.

 **overwhelmingly bi:** i'll laugh if you start crying about this

 **cup noode:** Fucking baby

 **chocobo boi:** ok everyone here can go fuck themselves smH

 **chocobo boi:** except luna bc she was nice ily ur not a bully :")

 **Luna:** awww no problem Prom :)

 **Luna:** but i'd rather you love Noct. :))))

 **chocobo boi:** and i take back what i said bbbye luna :)))

 **dicklick:** This is not what I expected from the Prince's group chat...

 **cup noode:** Surpise asswipe this is the shit that happens

 **iffy:** If you came here for confidential information, I'm sorry to disappoint. 

 **overwhelmingly bi:** welcome to the chat

 **overwhelmingly bi:** even tho you're suppose to the blocked and reported but whatever

 

_dicklick's nickname is now AI_

 

 **chocobo boi:** did it change back itself or did u do something noct??

 **overwhelmingly bi:** i'm not even shocked by this point but they did it themselves and they're not even an admin

 **chocobo boi:** i wish i could slow clap in a group chat

 **Luna:** *slowly claps*

 **chocobo boi:** I JUST SNROTED MY DRINK IT BURNS

 **overwhelmingly bi:** HOSLY HSIT

 

_overwhelmingly bi has sent a picture_

 

 **overwhelmingly bi:** IM PISSING I CANT BRFAJFSLDK

 **(hoe)nstly:** WHAT IS COMING OUT OF THAT BOY'S NOSE???

 **iffy:** A metric fuck-ton of coffee.

 **cup noode:** IGGY OH MY GODS

 **Luna:** IS IT BAD THAT I SNORTED MY DRINK LOOKING AT THE PIC OF PROM SNORTING HIS DRINK AND IT LIKED DOUBLE SNORTED AT IGNIS' MESSAGE???

 **Luna:** MY TEA DIDN'T COME OUT OF MY NOSE THOUGH.

 **Luna:** ALSO MY CAPS LOCK IS STUCK SOMEONE HELP ME.

 **(hoe)nstly:** Luna you are a grown ass woman you know how caps lock fucking works.

 **Luna:** I'M TOO SHOOK TO THINK

 **chocobo boi:** THE ORACLE SAID SHOOK I CAN REST IN PEACE

 **(hoe)nstly:** rest in piss

 **overwhelmingly bi:** rest in penis

 **cup noode:** rest in pie

 **iffy:** Out of all of those, I did not expect Gladio's to be the most mature one.

 **chocobo boi:** but yall my nose feels like its on fire why arent u guys helpinG ME

 **cup noode:** Your pain is funny

 **Luna:** CAPS. LOCK. IS. TERrible

 **(hoe)nstly:** did you figure out how to turn it off right there?

 **Luna:** No i"m just holding shift now :)

 **(hoe)nstly:** can i kick myself from this chat?

 **overwhelmingly bi:** not unless you can kick harambe's dead monkey ass from the grave

 **AI:** I feel like my time reading through this chat has killed many brain cells.

 **iffy:**  You and me both.

 **chocobo boi:** nCOT IM CRYING THAT IS SO OLD and IGGY THATS THE HACKE R

 **iffy:** He is the only sane one I can talk to at the moment.

 **cup noode:** What about aranea

 **(hoe)nstly:** No he's right, AI is the only other sane one. I just fucking dipped my sandwich in my milk and then stared at it for a solid minute while it just sat there drenched in milk and now it's all gross and soggy don't look at me.

 **Luna:** YOU NEED SLEep.

 **(hoe)nstly:** TURN. OFF. YOUR. CAPS. LOCK.

 **Luna:** I'VE BEEN TRYING BUT I OPENED FIVE DIFFERENT APPS IN THE PROCESs

 **Luna:** oh found it

 **(hoe)nstly:** but yeah I am going to bed I can't believe myself goodnight.

 

_(hoe)nstly is now offline_

 

 **iffy:** I think we all need sleep.

 **chocobo boi:** WE DONT NEED SLEEP

 **overwhelmingly bi:** cAUSE SLEEP IS FOR THE WEA K

 **cup noode:** Noct stfu you love sleeping

 **overwhelmingly bi:** yeah you're right

 **chocobo boi:** finE we'll go to sleep xddd

 **iffy:** Good. Then goodnight Lunafreya.

 **Luna:** night night!!

 **AI:** Sweet dreams~~

 **chocobo boi:** brb making a noose with my bed sheets XDDD

 **overwhelmingly bi:** ignore the creeper and just go the fuck to sleep

 

_overwhelmingly bi is now offline_

_chocobo boi is now offline_

_cup noode is now offline_

_Luna is now offline_

_iffy is now offline_

_AI is now offline_

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AGAIN IM SORRY THIS TOOK FOREVER IM ALREADY MAKING THE NEXT CHAPTER AND I WILL FORCE MYSELF TO FINISH IT EITHER TODAY OR TOMORROW TO MAKE UP FOR IT IM So SoRR y
> 
> also if u find any mistakes that dont look intentional lemme know thanks ayyeEE


	6. prom and noct have a bromance but without the 'b'

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (hoe)nstly: now back to the topic at hand: Is AI a guy or gal?
> 
> chocobo boi: both or neither??
> 
> Luna: Gay or European??

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TOLD YOU ANOTHER CHAPTER WOULD BE OUT EITHER TODAY OR TOMORROW
> 
> I JUST PULLED THIS OUT OF MY ASS AND I DID NOT CHECK IT SO JUST TAKE IT AHHH
> 
> also hey look an update that is not super fucking late at night :DDD

_December 3_

_6:00 am_

 

 **chocobo boi:** did u know it is illegal to whisper in someones ear while moose hunting in alaska??

 **Luna:** I did not know that... and did you only sleep three hours??

 **chocobo boi:** how about i didnt sleep at all?? lolol

 **Luna:** pROM YOU HAD ONE JOB

 **chocobo boi:** IM SORRY OK I JUST SAW THIS CRAZY FACTS SITE AND I GOT CURIOUS AND FKJDAKSLFJ

 **chocobo boi:** like the longest recorded life span of a slug was 1 year and 6 months??

 **chocobo boi:** and that a completely blind chameleon will still take on the colors or its environment?

 **Luna:** Prom my sweet sunshine boy, please go to bed. all these animal facts are getting to you.

 **chocobo boi:** idk if these are legit facts yet. u cant trust everything u read on the internet

 **chocobo boi:** so im doing some mad research luna pls

 **Luna:** Prompto omgoodness

 **chocobo boi:** you dont understand i rlly hope a group of pandas are not called an embarrassment they deserve better

 **chocobo boi:** check their panda privileges

 **chocobo boi:** panda righTS!!

 **chocobo boi:** #PANDALIVESmATTER

 **Luna:** Prom please you are honestly worrying me

 **chocobo boi:** did u know u could wake up at least 15 times in one hour as u sleep but its so brief you dont remember?

 **chocobo boi:** so i choose to stay awake

 **chocobo boi:** i dont want to forget

  **Luna:** Prom do I have to personally go over there and knock you out because??

 **chocobo boi:** 15 minutes of laughing a day can make u lose weight

 **chocobo boi:** and luna pls no

 **iffy:** Why are you both up?

 **chocobo boi:** why are /you/ up??  >:c

 **iffy:** It is past six. I am going to make breakfast.

 **chocobo boi:** so u only slept 3 hours???

 **iffy:** Yes.

 **Luna:** Ignis go back to sleep!! you too Prom :(

 **chocobo boi:** never

 **iffy:** I cannot. Once I am awake, there is no going back.

 **AI:** The good morning to everyone!~~~

 **chocobo boi:** ah why yes hello hacker guy who forced his way into our chat

 **chocobo boi:** i am still salty about that fYI

 **Luna:** salty, sassy, and single.

 **chocobo boi:** did u just burn me or??

 **(hoe)nstly:** no she described me.

 **(hoe)nstly:** also good morning thanks for waking me up.

 **Luna:** sorry xd

 **chocobo boi:** for a sec i thought u were gonna say she described me but now i feel b A D

 **chocobo boi:** why dont u and iggy go out???

 **chocobo boi:** r ilke great for each other smg

 **chocobo boi:** *like *smh

 **(hoe)nstly:** 1) because I'll never get to see him but about once a week. 2) for the same reason you and Noct are not together yet.

 **Luna:** aww that's sad :"(

 **Luna:** bUT YES FOR REAL YOU AND NOCT DESERVE EACH OTHER

 **chocobo boi:** YOU. ARE. HIS. BRIDE-TO-BE. why are u not defending ur man??

 **Luna:** I am. he is meant for you!!

 **chocobo boi:** nah he ismeant for u

 **Luna:** just because we are getting married does not mean that!

 **chocobo boi:** but ur liek the oracle and youve known him since he was a little kiddo and ur nice n pretty and radiate holiness and u could actually make him happy and afkjlj

 **(hoe)nstly:** did you just put all of your self doubt into compliments for Luna?

 **chocobo boi:** eys im sorry im just tired xdd

 **chocobo boi:** *yes

 **Luna:** aww nooo prom DD:

 **chocobo boi:** prom yessssssss

 **AI:** Have you ever asked the Prince what he thinks?

 **chocobo boi:** i have not

 **chocobo boi:** OH SHTI TATS THE HACKER AFKLDSJFLKA

 **chocobo boi:** why do u care smH

 **AI:** Relax. I honestly do not care, but this is so pitiful I had to say something.

 **iffy:** I am back and it's sad to see Prompto is still pining.

 **iffy:** But you should follow AI's advice. See what Noct has to say about it.

 **(hoe)nstly:** or we could wait until you are not in the chat and we could ask him for you?

 **chocobo boi:** none of those options pls that would just make everything awkward between us and i dont want that

 **chocobo boi:** now can we fill up the chat with useless stuff for like five minutes so noct doesnt see this when he wakes up??

 **Luna:** let's guess AI's identity...

 **iffy:** If he doesn't want to share it, I suppose that is fine. However, if he uses his anonymous self against us or to do harm, then we can actually investigate.

 **chocobo boi:** he does me a frighten

 **chocobo boi:** wait hold up how do u know AI is a guy iggy??

 **iffy:** I don't, but calling it an 'it' is just odd. I went with what I think he is.

 **Luna:** yeah ai doesn't seem that girly despite using those ~~~ thingies...

 **chocobo boi:** neither does aranea but here she is

 **(hoe)nstly:** I was about to physically go over to you guys just to slap the shit out of you but then I realized you're right.

 **chocobo boi:** oh my six that sounded super rude im sorry im so verysorry

 **(hoe)nstly:** hey it's chill don't worry about it.

 **(hoe)nstly:** I swear you make me feel so bad for you when you do that. It actually hurts.

 **chocobo boi:** sorry?? also i dont know what u mean??

 **(hoe)nstly:** you're just so dependent on your friends and you act like an annoying child but somehow you pull it off without getting sucker punched.

 **(hoe)nstly:** but sometimes you're just so depressing that it hurts my heart?

 **Luna:** honestly same.

 **iffy:** There are only certain moments where I pity Prompto.

 **iffy:** This is one of those times.

 **chocobo boi:** stop

 **Luna:** I always feel bad when he apologizes and when he is pining hardcore and when someone says something mean about/to him and he just plays it off whether it was a joke or not...

 **chocobo boi:** sTOPPPP

 **chocobo boi:** bc if yall keep goin lik this i will start crying and that would be super embarrassing xdddd

 **Luna:** POOR BABY BOY

 **chocobo boi:** i wiLL KICK U FROM THIS CHAT LUNA I AM NOT AFRAID

 **Luna:** :(

 **(hoe)nstly:** now back to the topic at hand: Is AI a guy or gal?

 **chocobo boi:** both or neither??

 **Luna:** Gay or European??

 **chocobo boi:** luna why do u only know gay memes?

 **chocobo boi:** like u know the gay or european and u know the is prince noct is gay whatever wtf??

 **Luna:** Ravus.

 **Luna:** not saying he iS gay. just he knows a lot of g

 **Luna:** nevermind he is totally gay.

 **Luna:** uwu

 **(hoe)nstly:** what about you, oracle?

 **Luna:** I am holy uwu

 **chocobo boi:** luNA  >:(

 **Luna:** I will tell you if you confess your love to Noct  >:3

 **chocobo boi:** jflakdsjlkj deal

 **Luna:** wait yOU'RE RELALY GONNA DO IT??? :00

 **Luna:** *really (sorry!!)

 **chocobo boi:** if u go first xdd

 **Luna:** asexual now tell himmmmmm

 **chocobo boi:**  @overwhelmingly bi IM LOVER U NOCT U ARE BEST FRIEND FOR LYFE EX DEE SISTERS FOREVER AYYE LMAO X333

 **Luna:** yOU TROLL!!

 **Luna:** I feel

 **Luna:** betrayed??

 **chocobo boi:** #sorrynotsorry

 **(hoe)nstly:**  @overwhelmingly bi ASK. PROM. OUT.

 **chocobo boi:** whatthe fuCK

 **iffy:** I am here to inform you that the prince is now awake.

 **iffy:** Along with Gladio.

 **cup noode:** Sup fuckers

 **(hoe)nstly:** classy.

 **cup noode:** You know it

 **overwhelmingly bi:** wtf is all this

 **chocobo boi:** THE THING I MESSAGED YOU WAS SO LUNA WOULD TELL ME A SECR ET 

 **chocobo boi:** AND THEN ARANEA GOT WEIRD DDXXX

 **overwhelmingly bi:** oh

 **overwhelmingly bi:** i lover you too no homo

 **chocobo boi:** no homo uwu

 **(hoe)nstly:** I can NOT believe-

 **Luna:** DANG NABBIT ALKDJFASLKJ

 **cup noode:** Yeah its never gonna happen at this rate smh

 **overwhelmingly bi:** what?

 **Luna:** I. am. SHOOK.

 **chocobo boi:** haha yeah ok so can we go back to the gOOD OL DAYS/??

 **chocobo boi:** LIKE WE TOTALLY GAVE UP ON GUESSING AIS GENDER AYYYEE

 **overwhelmingly bi:** ai is totally a dude

 **chocobo boi** **:** what if hes actually a she and is like a major prince fangirl??

 **overwhelmingly bi:** oh six i hope not

 **AI:** Yes. That is exactly what I am.

 **Luna:** really?!

 **AI:** No.

 **chocobo boi:** now i think ur jsut lying...

 **cup noode:** Try kicking him out again

 **overwhelmingly bi:** we tried three times and it has not worked so i don't think a fourth is gonna do the trick smh gladio

 **overwhelmingly bi:** tho i guess if he is not hurting anyone and just stalks the chat we're probably okay?

 **chocobo boi:** idk man im getting spoopy vibes

 **iffy:** I suggest not bringing up any serious topics until we know who this is and what they're capable of.

 **Luna:** hire a hacker to find the hacker!

 **overwhelmingly bi:** do you know anyone??

 **Luna:** no. I thought you would :(

 **overwhelmingly bi:** do we know any hackers??

 **iffy:** Not that I can currently think of..? Unless Cid or Cindy know. I doubt it.

 **chocobo boi:** welp

 **chocobo boi:** we are diddly done son

 **(hoe)nstly:** the fuck is a diddly??

 **Luna:** I was about to ask the same thing but in a much more polite manner! :D

 **(hoe)nstly:** oh wow we're so in sync.

 **Luna:** yeah!! :DDDD

 **(hoe)nstly:** I was being sarcastic, oracle.

 **Luna:** aww :(((

 **chocobo boi:**  "define diddly: anything. EX: she didn't care diddly-squat about what Darryl thought."

 **overwhelmingly bi:** did you really look up the definition of diddly?

 **chocobo boi:** i got curious ok

 **chocobo boi:** but boi look at the example im lAUGHING

 **(hoe)nstly:** who's Darryl?

 **chocobo boi:** darryl doesnt matter he is just part of the example

 **AI:** I'm Darryl.

 **Luna:** so you're finally telling us! :DD

 **overwhelmingly bi:** luna i am almost 99.9% sure he's joking

 **Luna:** DaNGnaBBi T

 **chocobo boi:** there are no diddly darn darryls round these here parts

 **(hoe)nstly:** stop chocoboy.

 **chocobo boi:** sorrY :(((

 **Luna:** I think we should call the hacker man Darryl.

 **AI:** Do not call me Darryl.

 **Luna:** but why?? :"(

 **AI:** It is a rather gross name. No offense to any possible Darryl's.

 **chocobo boi:** that is tru

 **chocobo boi:** and i keep forgetting thats the hacker virus dude imma just kms brb

 **(hoe)nstly:** but you won't "be right back" if you kill yourself?

 **(hoe)nstly:** oh wait.

 **chocobo boi:** i was about to say i cant actually kms just yet im still grounded xdd

 **Luna:** um I am worried???

 **overwhelmingly bi:** same

 **overwhelmingly bi:** you've been making suicide jokes relentlessly for three days straight now

 **chocobo boi:** i have not u liar

 **overwhelmingly bi:** just five minutes ago you stubbed your toe on a chair and said you were going to hang yourself from said chair

 **overwhelmingly bi:** then yesterday when the car ran out of gas you said you would rather slam your head in the car door than push it to a gas station

 **chocobo boi:** ok listen

 **overwhelmingly bi:** no YOU listen

 **overwhelmingly bi:** in this house we CARE for each other

 **overwhelmingly bi:** and i care for you

 **overwhelmingly bi:** so you bet your sweet ass i'm getting concerned with these not-so-ironic suicidal threats now

 **chocobo boi:** noct pls

 **overwhelmingly bi:** don't "noct pls" me prom i am CONCERNED??

 **chocobo boi:** kdlasjfl okok i'll stop making constant kms jokes im soRRY

 **overwhelmingly bi:** fuck you for making me worry smH

 **chocobo boi:** JUST ACCEPT MY APOLOGY NOCT

 **overwhelmingly bi:** FINE I WILL BECAUSE I /CARE/

 **chocobo boi:** i lover u??

 **overwhelmingly bi:** i lover you too

 **overwhelmingly bi:** nohomo

 **chocobo boi:** yee uwu

 **(hoe)nstly:** glad I didn't sign off yet.

 **Luna:** I JUST CRIED FROM PURE JOY

 **Luna:** THE TEARS ARE REAL

**chocobo boi: pics or it didnt happen lmao**

 

_Luna has sent a picture_

 

 **Luna:** pls I'm just so happy right now

 **chocobo boi:** omg ur even holy when ur crying

 **overwhelmingly bi:** and you're still pretty how tf??

 **chocobo boi:** iKR??? i wish i was a pretty crier :(

 **chocobo boi:** like holy shit i get all ugly and gross when i cry its unreal

 **overwhelmingly bi:** i hate when you cry because it makes me cry and it's just sad man

 **chocobo  boi:** its bc u feel my pain bro

 **overwhelmingly bi:** bro

 **Luna:** THAT'S IT I'M DEAD BBBBBYE

 **Luna:** BURY ME IN THE PROMPTIS AHHHHH

 **overwhelmingly bi:** i suddenly regret my entire existence

 **chocobo boi:** same

 **Luna:** now

 **Luna:** kisssssssssssss

 **chocobo boi:** i take back every compliment i've ever made to luna

 **Luna:** aww what?? :"(

 **chocobo boi:** yep no regretti

 **iffy:** That's it!

 **iffy:** We're having spaghetti tonight.

 **(hoe)nstly:** I can't believe this.

 **cup noode:** What about my cup noodle craving??

 **iffy:** You can have cup noodles. The rest of us will have spaghetti.

 **chocobo boi:** are u telling me iggy got inspiration to make spaghetti bc he regretti??

 **overwhelmingly bi:** that is exactly what happened

 **AI:** I am disappointed.

 **chocobo boi:** sorry creepy virus hacker guy we dont know :(

 

_AI's nickname is now creepy virus hacker_

 

 **creepy virus hacker:** You're not creative.

 **overwhelmingly bi:** i am too you hush your mouth

 **chocobo boi:** doNT PISS OFF THE HAKCER

 **overwhelmingly bi:** well if he already hacked me does it matter?

 **chocobo boi:** no but what if hehacksoneofusnext??

 **creepy virus hacker:** Just because you put the words together does not make it illegible. 

 **chocobo boi:** ok the tears are back

 **(hoe)nstly:** shit something just came up I gotta go but Luna if any more promptis happens send me screenshots

 **Luna:** gotcha!!

 **(hoe)nstly:** then.

 

_(hoe)nstly is now offline_

 

 **chocobo boi:** wonder what that was about

 **overwhelmingly bi:** who knows

 **cup noode:**  She has the weirdest work schedule

 **iffy:** Indeed. Really her whole schedule is worrisome. She doesn't get enough sleep.

 **Luna:** iGGY CARES FKDALSJFL

 **overwhelmingly bi:** i think luna's texting turns more into prompto's with each passing day

 **cup noode:** This chat gets gayer with each passing day

 **overwhelmingly bi:** stfu me and prom have a BROMANCE get it right swine

 **chocobo boi:** bromance only bc we no homo

 **chocobo boi:** bc girls are the hot ones

 **overwhelmingly bi:** yesah

 **overwhelmingly bi:** *yea

 **overwhelmingly bi:** ****YES

 **chocobo boi:** and maybe like two or three dudes but thATS BESIDES THE POINT

 **Luna:** who are the two or three dudes you think are hot?? eye emoji

 **chocobo boi:** does it matter?? lol

 **iffy:** Maybe we should have given the overwhelmingly bi name to Prompto...

 **chocobo boi:** doNT

 **chocobo boi:** pls i dont want cindy to make fun of me that would like crush me

 **overwhelmingly bi:** cindy?? she has an account on here??

 **chocobo boi:** um duh???

 

_overwhelmingly bi has added Cindy A. to the chat_

_Cindy A.'s nickname is now grease monkey_

_iffy is offline_

_cup noode is offline_

 

 **chocobo boi:** whoa ok that was like instant add

 **chocobo boi:** and quick name change too

 **chocobo boi:** then iggy and gladio just bolted

 **chocobo boi:** im shook too much happened in like five seconds

 **Luna:** who is that?? :00

 **Luna:** and what do you mean grease monkey?

 **chocobo boi:** thats cindy shes great pls be nice to her when she gets online if ever

 **overwhelmingly bi:** she claims to be a grease monkey and no one questions it

 **Luna:** ooooh okay. also I have to go. business :(

 **overwhelmingly bi:** dang i was hoping to procrastinate a bit more

 **chocobo boi:** me too man but we also ge tot ride choCOBOS TODAY SO IM PRETTY HYPED TO GET GOING RN

 **overwhelmingly bi** **:** dakfjlk fine. alright then luna we're gonna go

 **chocobo boi:** see ya later!!

 **Luna:** See ya!!

_chocobo boi is now offline_

_Luna is now offline_

_overwhelmingly bi is now offline_

_creepy virus hacker is now offline_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GET READY FOR CINDYYYYYYY  
> also i may never do a double upload day again so yOUR wElcoME (sorry end me iM)
> 
> i really need a schedule to update this smh @ self


	7. noctis is hella gay for his best bud woops

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> grease monkey: operation get prince noctis into proms pants is underway

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CINDY IS HERE AND IM SORRY I CANT WRITE HER SHE IS COUNTRY TRASH I APOLOGIZE IN ADVANCE
> 
> also this chapter is long as fuck so buckle up this will be a wild ride
> 
> (fyi the format of how the chats go will be slightly different at the beginning after this chapter and it might get real confusing since i do not organize well so just beware of that too)
> 
> anyway here is an extremely long chapter that could last a coupe of days so hopefully you enjoy it lmao

_December 4_

_11:44 am_

 

_chocobo boi has sent a picture_

_chocobo boi sent a picture_

 

 **chocobo boi:** here are some daily pics of noct gettin his ass beat in battle :))

 **chocobo boi:** also hello this chat has been dead for longer than 5 hours whoA??

 **overwhelmingly bi:** wtf do you mean daily pics this is the first time you've does this

 **Luna:** I wanted to say something earlier but I didn't want to interrupt anything important you guys may have been doing :(

 **Luna:** also thank you for these photos I'm changing my phone backgrounds as we speak

 **(hoe)nstly:** guess who finally got more than 8 hours of sleep.

 **(hoe)nstly:** me.

 **(hoe)nstly:**  i feel like i deserve it.

 **iffy:** You do.

 **Luna:** LKFAJDFLK

 **Luna:** I'm sorry I got in a bad habit of keyboard smashing when I see these things now I'll try to stop

 **overwhelmingly bi:** prom?? did you hack luna's account??

 **chocobo boi:** R 00 D

 **chocobo boi:** but omg iggy just marry her already smh

 **iffy:** I do not force you onto Noct, do not force me onto Aranea.

 **(hoe)nstly:** so you're not completely denying you'd marry me?

 

_iffy has left the chat_

 

 **(hoe)nstly:** he's so cute. i say this both as sarcasm and not.

 **Luna:** I just inhaled my drink I cannot believe !!

 **cup noode:**  They never learn

 **(hoe)nstly:** flustered level on specs?

 **chocobo boi:** over 9000

 **overwhelmingly bi:** and we're using this meme sparingly

 **chocobo boi:** fr he is like dying and we are all laughin glaldafaowlks

 **chocobo boi:** fajlIF KLl..''af'a

 **overwhelmingly bi:** prom just got his phone taken up

 **overwhelmingly bi:** iggy says he's grounded again

 **Luna:** what about you??

 **overwhelmingly bi:** i ran away

 **overwhelmingly bi:** not letting iggy take my phone again

 

_chocobo boi is now offline_

 

 **(hoe)nstly:** did Ignis kill him or..?

 **Luna:** he better not lay a finger on my sunshine child

 **overwhelmingly bi:** i can hear prom crying from where i am now and i'm honestly scared for him

 **overwhelmingly bi:** but i can't risk my phone for his safety

 **cup noode:** Shitty boyfriend you are

 **overwhelmingly bi:** PROM IS NOT MY BOYFRIEND I STG YOU GUYS

 **grease monkey:**   what in tarnation

 **Luna:** hello Cindy!! :D welcome to the chat

 **grease monkey:** hey there

 **grease monkey:** what all this

 **overwhelmingly bi:** a huge group chat for shits and giggles

 **cup noode:** A huge disappointment for depression and memes

 **Luna:** chocobros!! (also how does one change the name of the group there are now an almost equal amount of ladies and men present)

 **(hoe)nstly:** i'm fine with the current name but if it were to be changed because of that reason i say it should be 'chocohoes'.

 **grease monkey:** i see two of yall are out

 **grease monkey:** wich ones the prince

 **overwhelmingly bi:** me

 **grease monkey:** oh

 **grease monkey:** i always thought you were gay not bi

 **overwhelmingly bi:** iM

 **overwhelmingly bi:** ok look listen

 **Luna:** yes we're listening eye emoji

 

_chocobo boi is now online_

_chocobo boi has added iffy to the chat_

 

 **chocobo boi:** i got my phone back ayye!!!

 **chocobo boi:** GASPPU CINDY!!! :DDD

 **grease monkey:** howdy prom

 **grease monkey:** or wait that is you right

 **chocobo boi:** yes!! its me :33

 **overwhelmingly bi:** so iggy why'd you give prom his phone back??

 **iffy:** We made a deal.

 **Luna:** which was??? :00

 **iffy:** Secret.

 **iffy:** And do not tell them Prompto.

 **chocobo boi:** umum

 **iffy:** Prompto.

 **chocobo boi:** tHTa was a typo yeah i meant **yes sir

 **overwhelmingly bi:** what

 **(hoe)nstly:** this is actually concerning?

 **Luna:** tell me prom or else I'll bug you to death  >:33

 **chocobo boi:** no

 **Luna:** aww I thought that bluff would work :"(

 **grease monkey:** tell me

 **chocobo boi:** jlfdj no sorry cindy :c

 **chocobo boi:** im scared of iggy so like im just gonna go until yall forget this i mean i have something to do anyways so ahaha

 **chocobo boi:** bye guys

 **chocobo boi:** and cindy

 **chocobo boi:** and luna and aranea and yeah by e

 

_chocobo boi is now offline_

 

 **Luna:** I feel oddly angry??

 **(hoe)nstly:** why?

 **Luna:** I sense some weird love triangle going on with Noct Prom and Cindy...

 **Luna:** but the promptis

 **cup noode:** Wouldnt it actually be a love square since your suppose to marry noct

 **Luna:** oh no you're right :(

 **cup noode:** Though my thought is prom just pretends to like cindy to seem straighter than he actually is but thats just my theory

 **(hoe)nstly:** i'm in on this theory.

 **Luna:** same

 **grease monkey:** if it makes ya feel any better i am not attracted to any of yall so

 **overwhelmingly bi:** ok first of all me prom and cindy are not in a love triangle that's so weird wtf

 **overwhelmingly bi:** second i think prom really does like her since he is always real giddy and overly happy arond her and he tries to show off more thna usual and he just seems much more relaxed in her presence than anything so if cindy and prom did get together they would just be perfect for each other right? so then he woudlnt ahve to deal with us anymore and chill with her and some chocobos and shi

 **Luna:** jealous Noct is jealous?

 **overwhelmingly bi:** holy fuck i did not mean to send that i was trying to delete all that i have never regretted something more in my entire fucking life

 **overwhelmingly bi:** and no i am not jealous what the fuck

 **overwhelmingly bi:** why would i be jea

 **overwhelmingly bi:** *jealOUS

 **(hoe)nstly:** i just love how subtle you and Prompto are about each other.

 **iffy:** Shocker isn't it.

 **cup noode:** Shut it iggy you aint one to talk lol

 **grease monkey:** if i am allowed to throw in my two cents on this

 **overwhelmingly bi:** depends who's side you're on

 **grease monkey:** well i think you boys should talk it out

 **grease monkey:** even i notice prom starin at you all dreamily and you doin the same when yall think the other isnt looking

 **grease monkey:** and im only around yall for like 10 minutes every other week

 **grease monkey:** so maybe you should ask and find out yourself

 **overwhelmingly bi:**  There is nothing to find out. Prom and me are just best friends. That's all we'll ever be unless he decides to just /stop/ being my friend. Now drop it or I'm leaving.

 **cup noode:** Oh shit he brought out the good grammar

 **(hoe)nstly:** if you don't ask that boy, even if it's just a small hint, then i will myself. And i know how to get answers.

 **iffy:** She is coming to visit this weekend Noct. You better make up your mind soon.

 **overwhelmingly bi:** guys omfg don't 

 **overwhelmingly bi:** just don't please oh my goDS

 **(hoe)nstly:** you have three days till i do it myself.

 **(hoe)nstly:** if i have to play cupid to get your oblivious asses together then fuck it i will.

 **cup noode:** Just end their pining right now its ridiculous

 **overwhelmingly bi:** i'm done with you people

 **grease monkey:** ive been here for 20 minutes

 **overwhelmingly bi:** you are included fuck your two cents

 **grease monkey:** well i thought i could get out of that

 **Luna:** is another one of those "fill up the chat with randomness so the other person doesn't know a thing" plans about to happen again?

 **overwhelmingly bi:** please do so i don't want things to be awkward with me and him that would kill me

 **Luna:** gotcha

 **creepy virus hacker:** How funny would it be if he suddenly came back online?

 **overwhelmingly bi:** shut it hacker i dont want to think about it now change the fucking subject

 **creepy virus hacker:** How is your trip so far?

 **cup noode:** The fuck

 **iffy:** Disappointing, to say the least.

 **overwhelmingly bi:** oh it's just been a fucking blast full of sunshine lollipops i just love sleeping outdoors every fucking day and i love running around doing other peoples dirty work just to get by because were alwasy broke and i love pro

 **Luna:** what do i spy with my little eye on the end there?? eye emoji x900000

 **overwhelmingly bi:** you know what fuck it

 **overwhelmingly bi:** hold up i am about to delete todays chat log so we need to think of a fake reason why later but i just hope prom won't question

 

**_[CONVERSATION DELETED]_ **

 

\---

 

_December 4_

_12:15 pm_

 

_overwhelmingly bi has added iffy, cup noode, grease monkey, (hoe)nstly, and Luna to a group_

 

_overwhelmingly bi has renamed the group holy shit i'm super fucking gay_

 

_overwhelmingly bi has added creepy virus hacker_

 

 **overwhelmingly bi:** fuck

 **Luna:** IM SCREAMING AT THE GROUP NAME !!!

 **cup noode:** Im guessing since prom is not in this chat and the title itself was made by you that youve realized you love prom

 **overwhelmingly bi:** it is and i am going to cry

 **Luna:** MY PRAYERS HAVE BEEN ANSWERED!!

 **(hoe)nstly:** so does this mean we can talk about you two without having to talk about random shit after?

 **overwhelmingly bi:** yes

 **overwhelmingly bi:** so i need you guys to help me without looking suspicious and anyone who does not take this seriously will be kicked form this chat

 **grease monkey:** operation get prince noctis into proms pants is underway

 **overwhelmingly bi:** i will give you one more chance cindy but only because you're new

 **overwhelmingly bi:** don't fucking test me

 **grease monkey:** im so sorry

 **overwhelmingly bi:**  forgiven

 **Luna:** can I just say I am proud you actually realize your huge crush on Prom??

 **overwhelmingly bi:** honestly i've had a crush on him since like highschool but i didn't want things to be weird so i've just kept it secret but now it physically hurts my heart when certain things happen??

 **(hoe)nstly:** holy shit you've been pining for a long time.

 **overwhelmingly bi:** i know and it sucks ass

 **grease monkey:** well help you thru tho so dont worry

 **grease monkey:** also who is creepy virus hacker

 **overwhelmingly bi:** no idea he legit hacked in and he's a creepy fucker. he adds himself to any chat i'm in i guess.

 **creepy virus hacker:** Not just you.

 **cup noode:** This is what we mean by creepy

 **grease monkey:** oh well sorry to hear about that

 **overwhelmingly bi:** eh he hasn't done much so far so it's whatever

 **overwhelmingly bi:** but anyway how could i tell if prom /like/ likes me or just likes me in the friendzone way??

 **cup noode:** You mean you cant tell ?

 **iffy:** If he was not oblivious to the whole situation he would already know the answer.

 **overwhelmingly bi:** could you guys not mock me while i'm dying inside thanks

 **(hoe)nstly:** try asking him?

 **overwhelmingly bi:** bitch no wtf

 **overwhelmingly bi:** i can't

 **overwhelmingly bi:** do that???

 **Luna:** why not? that's the most simple and easiest way

 **Luna:** unless ;) you want me to ;;) speak to him myself ;;;)

 **overwhelmingly bi:** luna no please i'm

 **iffy:** You're what Noct?

 **cup noode:** Its been five minutes and we havent got an answer

 **overwhelmingly bi:** i'mafraidofrejection? andmaybeloveingeneral?  hAAA??

 **Luna:** omg you are so cute

 **overwhelmingly bi:** what the fuck luna

 **(hoe)nstly:** this is both sweet and sad at the same time.

 **iffy:** Then Luna will not tell you the results.

 **Luna:** huh?

 **iffy:** If you ask Prompto how he feels about Noctis, you will not tell Noct the results. 

 **Luna:** but what if prom does like noct back?? that should be a good thing that noct needs to know !!

 **iffy:** They would have to be able to tell each other, not have someone else do it for them.

 **Luna:** I'm sad that you're right :(

 **cup noode:** Fuck feelings

 **overwhelmingly bi:** agreed

 **iffy:** Agreed.

 **(hoe)nstly:** agreed.

 

_overwhelmingly bi has changed the group name to FUCK FEELINGS_

 

 **Luna:** ok back to the topic at hand

 **Luna:** i have an idea

 **overwhelmingly bi:** no

 **Luna:** you don't even now what it is yet :(

 **overwhelmingly bi:** still no

 **Luna:** then I say this to everyone but you: we get Prompto to confess to Noct :DDD

 **overwhelmingly bi:** not gonna happen

 **iffy:** Prompto is does say things before thinking it through so it might be easier done than said...

 **overwhelmingly bi:** as if. if you all manage to actually do that then i'll personally make serious notes explaining why i love you individually

 **overwhelmingly bi:** which will never happen because that will never happen

 **overwhelmingly bi:** end scene

 **overwhelmingly bi:** OHF FUCK PROM IS BACK AND MESSAGING THE OTHER CHAT IM SCERAL

 

** THE CHOCOBROS **

 

 

 

 

_December 4_

_12:38 pm_

 

 **chocobo boi:**  umm?? why is the whole convo deleted what did i miss??

 **chocobo boi:** did everyone get angry and leave or what??

 **Luna:** no no we're all here !! and not angry

 **chocobo boi:** ok then where is everyone and why is the chat deleted lol??

 **grease monkey:** its not like we deleted it because noct confessed his undying love for you and then made a separate group  chat to talk to noct about his hardcore feelings for you

 **chocobo boi:** oh yea sure haha now what rlly happened bc im getting concerned??

 **overwhelmingly bi:** creepy virus hacker deleted the chat because a pun war got too out of hand

 **chocobo boi:** I MISSED THE PUN WAR?!! :"00

 **cup noode:** You snooze you lose

 **(hoe)nstly:** it was like a weird rap battle in a way.

 **chocobo boi:** im crying i cant believe

 **chocobo boi:** i was gone for like 20 minutes how dare you??

 **overwhelmingly bi:** sorry not sorry

 **overwhelmingly bi:** also what was it you went out to do?/

 **chocobo boi:** i went for a walk and now im chillin at the crows nest ://

 **cup nood:** Want us to head over there or nah

 **chocobo boi:** i mean if u want to but u dont gotta

 **chocobo boi:** but if u do bring a fan i am about to burn its so hot im in tears

 **iffy:** We will be heading your way in about 10 minutes. Did you eat already?

 **chocobo boi:** nope im broke and my smooth tactics to try and get free food are not welcome here apparently 

 **chocobo boi:** did u make something?? :)))

 **iffy:** Yes.

 **chocobo boi:** MY DAY IS NOW TEN THOUSAND TIMES BETTTER

 **grease monkey:** which crows nest yall at

 **chocobo boi:** sadly not the one near u :(

 **(hoe)nstly:** am i the only one who doesn't like the bird bench that's there?

 **iffy:** No.

 **Luna:** no

 **overwhelmingly bi:** no

 **grease monkey:** whats so wrong with it

 **cup noode:** Bad vibes bad vibes

 **overwhelmingly bi:** you can see where people have rubbed its crotch so much that it lost the paint there and it makes you question society

 **Luna:** I only said no because everyone else did but I honestly have no idea what you're talking about and I'm scared

 **(hoe)nstly:** no one explain.

 **Luna:** guys come on !!

 **Luna:** pls :(

 **overwhelmingly bi:** there's a human bird that everyone has sex with behind the diner and if you want free sex you have to sit near him on a bench and whisper the magic words "20 piece chicken nugger" and if you add "frenched fries" to your saying you get to top

 **Luna:** I'M SORRY I ASKED I WANT TO ERASE THIS NEW INFORMATION FROM MY MIND

 

_chocobo boi has sent a picture_

 

 **chocobo boi:** i have may documented instances of noct gettin ready to bang the bird

 **overwhelmingly bi:** OMG PROM NO

 **Luna:** NOCT WHAT IS THIS

 **Luna:** DID YOU FRICK THE BIRD??

 **overwhelmingly bi:** LUNA IT WAS A JOKE PLEASE I DIDN'T FUCK THE BIRD

 **overwhelmingly bi:** i regret lying i just wanted to freak you out

 **overwhelmingly bi:** thanks a lot prom now i look like a bird fucker

 **chocobo boi:** anything for u ;;;)

 **Luna:** then what is really going on i'm very scared

 **grease monkey:** its just a statue you can take a picture with

 **(hoe)nstly:** i'm crying over the free sex one like i am really in tears and my stomach hurts and gods i hate laughing.

 **overwhelmingly bi:** gasps the great aranea is crying?!?!

 **chocobo boi:** PICS OR IT DIDNT HAPPEN

 **(hoe)nstly:** no fuck you.

 **chocobo boi:** i mean i would totally smash but ur all iggys so i better not

 **(hoe)nstly:** damn right.

 **iffy:** jJFASKD

 

_iffy has left the chat_

_overwhelmingly bi has added iffy to the chat_

_iffy has left the chat_

 

 **overwhelmingly bi:** I'M LAUGHING HE JSUT LEFT THE ROOM TOO

 **cup noode:** He said "lets go get prom now" and ran the fuck out

 **chocobo boi:** i wish i was there to witness

 **chocobo boi:** alsO ITS BEEN LONGER THAN 10 MINUTES WTF

 **overwhelmingly bi:** yeah my bad i was eating and ya know iggy doesn't allow food in the car anymore

 **(hoe)nstly:** why not?

 **chocobo boi:** OH I REMEMEBR IM CYRING

 **cup noode:** Basically we were eating leftovers from the night before and noct when to sit on liek that part above the seat (he sits in the back fyi to the ladies) but he dropped his plate on the way up and it went all over his shirt and all the way down to the floor of the car

 **chocobo boi:** AND NOCT JUST SAT THERE IN SILENCE AS ME AND GLADIO LAUGHED AND IGGY WAS LIKE "whats so funny" AND WE TOLD HIM NOT TO WORRY ABOUT IT

 **chocobo boi:**  IGGY DIDNT KNOW WHAT HAPPENED UNTIL WE FINALLY MADE IT OT OUR STOP AND HE ACTUALLY CRIED BECAUSE NOCT and i quote "RUINED THE CAR"

 **overwhelmingly bi:** he also complained that i wasted the food

 **overwhelmingly bi:** long story short iggy cares more for his food and my dad's car more than me and i am offended??

 **cup noode:** But after that iggy banned eating in the car so thanks a lot noct

 **chocobo boi:** yea thanks noct  >:(

 **overwhelmingly bi:** I WILL NOT APOLOGIZE UNLESS IGGY DOES SO FIRST SO FUCK YOU

 **(hoe)nstly:** also you haven't added specs back yet.

 **overwhelmingly bi:** oh right

 

_overwhelmingly bi has added iffy the chat_

 

 **cup noode:** Iggy where you at

 **iffy:** I am waiting in the car.

 **overwhelmingly bi:** oh shit you didn't say we were leavinG

 **iffy:** Let me rephrase: I was enjoying a moment of silence in the car. You may come out now.

**chocobo boi:** <http://newnownext.mtvnimages.com/2015/04/STICKER_Sorry_Girls_large.jpg>

**Luna:** we know prom

 **chocobo boi:** OK IT WAS KIND OF A JOKE I JUST THOUGHT IT WOULD BE FUNNY BECAUSE IGGY SAID YOU CAN COME OUT NOW AND JFAKLJFLKD

 **(hoe)nstly:** "kind of".

 **chocobo boi:** pls dont bully me oh goDS

 

_chocobo boi's nickname is now ha gAY_

 

 **ha gAY:** haha very funny noct

 **overwhelmingly bi:** IM LAUGHINGBEAUS EI DIDINT DO IT THIS TIME

 **ha gAY:** LIAR UR THE ONLY ONE OTHER THAN ME IN CONTROL

 **creepy virus hacker:** Are you sure?

 **ha gAY:** im crying i cant believe i just got memed by the hacker virus dude

 

_ha gAY's nickname is now chocobo boi_

 

 **(hoe)nstly:** who knew he was a hidden meme this whole time?

 **iffy:** It is best if we get going soon.

 **overwhelmingly bi:** iggy you ruined the moment now i'm going to fight you

 **iffy:** Very well.

 **overwhelmingly bi:** meet me at the car in about 3 minutes fucker

 **iffy:** I'm already at the car.

 **overwhelmingly bi:** shut up nerd

 **chocobo boi:** oh damn

 **chocobo boi:** my moneys on mom

 **chocobo boi:** **IGNIS WHO CHANGED THE AUTOCORRECT TO MOM I WILL FIGHT

 **overwhelmingly bi:** i've waited weeks for you to type his actual name and i am not disappointed

 **overwhelmingly bi:** i'll fight both of you at the same time

 **chocobo boi:** ITS ON DICKWEED

 **overwhelmingly bi:** meet me at crows nest in about 5 minutes and i'll show you who's the dickweed

 **cup noode:** Stop trying to fight everyone noct smh

 **Luna:** please don't actually fight :(

 **(hoe)nstly:** take pics and send it to me i want to see this.

 **overwhelmingly bi:** we could wait till the weekend?

 **(hoe)nstly:** you better.

 **overwhelmingly bi:** ok then prom and iggy mEET ME AT WHERE WE'RE GONNA ME ARANEA AT WHATEVER TIME IS GOOD FOR YOU AND I WILL DECK YOUR ASSES

 **chocobo boi:** iTS ON

 **iffy:** I recommend not actually fighting. I thought you were joking but now I am not so sure.

 **cup noode:** I think hes still salty about the car food incident

 **Luna:** then why does Noct want to fight Prom?? :(

 **cup noode:** Sexual frustrations 

 **overwhelmingly bi:**  gladio wtf

 **(hoe)nstly:** they'd probably start making out halfway through the fight.

 **chocobo boi:** thats not even how fighting works what is wrong with u

 **overwhelmingly bi:**  i'm not even shocked anymore

 **chocobo boi:** yea same i mean they turn anything i say into a shippy statement smh

 **Luna:** so you agree with your boyfriend then?? :33 no fighting? :33

 **chocobo boi:** see what i mean

 

_Luna is now offline_

 

 **overwhelmingly bi:** that was sudden

 **chocobo boi:** yeah i am actually concerned

 **(hoe)nstly:** Luna's a tough cookie let her to her thing.

 **cup noode:** A tough cookie huh

 **(hoe)nstly:** shut it dickhead.

 

_Luna's nickname is now Tough Cookie_

 

 **overwhelmingly bi:** why do i get the feeling she'll love that nickname??

 **chocobo boi:** cuz its cute and threatening at the same time huehuehue

 **chocobo boi:** sorry ill kick myself form the chat bbye

 

_chocobo boi has left the chat_

 

 **overwhelmingly bi:** FOR FUCK SAKES WHY DOES EVERYONE KEEP LEAVING

 

_overwhelmingly bi has added chocobo boi to the chat_

 

 **chocobo boi:** HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE TO GET TO THE CROWS NEST WHERE ARE YALL

 **overwhelmingly bi:** WE'RE LIKE ONE MINUTES AWAY PLEASE

 **chocobo boi:** WTF ARE YALL WALKING HERE

 **overwhelmingly bi:** NO WE LEFT LIKE TWO MINUTES AGO AND IGGY IS SPEEDING THROUGH TRAFFIC BECAUSE I BLACKMAILED HIM

 **chocobo boi:** holy shit

 **(hoe)nstly:** what'd you use as blackmail?

 **overwhelmingly bi:** you

 **(hoe)nstly:** i mean if it works then whatever.

 **overwhelmingly bi:** nice

 **overwhelmingly bi:** also prom we are legit parking rn so like five more seconds

 **overwhelmingly bi:** but i guess we're gonna go offline for a bit so see ya aranea

 **(hoe)nstly:** have fun.

 

_(hoe)nstly is now offline_

_overwhelmingly bi is now offline_

 

 **cup noode:** Prom as noct sprints to the crows nest answer this question

 **chocobo boi:** sup?

 **chocobo boi:** gladio?? did u like die on me??

 **cup noode:** Actually ill ask later

 **chocobo boi:** ok??? now get ur ass in here and buy me food noct didnt bring any money with him

 **cup noode:** K

 

_chocobo boi is now offline_

_cup noode is now offline_

_iffy is now offline_

_creepy virus hacker is now offline_

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> are ya ready kids?
> 
> cuz its about tO GO D O W N
> 
> (also sorry for grammatical errors but yall know the drill by now i dONT REALLY CHECK THIS AS I TYPE HAAA its 1 am end me)


	8. prompto sleep talks the talk and sleep walks the walk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (hoe)nstly: i fucking hate the minions.
> 
> Tough Cookie: hey !! they are cute and yellow soft creatures >:(
> 
> cup noode: More like annoying and ugly ass dildos

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heyyy this story is at 150 kudos and almost 100 comments (tho half of which are me replying but it still whoa!!) and i'm crying ahHHH
> 
> i cannot believe it has even 30 kudos i mean i am THAT SHOOK
> 
> (yall have shitty taste in stories lol JK PLS DOnt hurt me)
> 
> here's a nice lil update that revolves around their really fucked up sleep schedules, sleep talking, and noct having gay thoughts, and just dumb things :)
> 
> ///SPOILERS MAYBE:/// if you don't know Ravus or seen him in-game (i mean even i don't know much about him i'm fucking up his personality as i go heyy)

** [GROUP CHAT: THE CHOCOBROS] **

 

_December 5_

_1:45 am_

 

 **chocobo boi:** whos online and ready to tURN UP :)

 **creepy virus hacker:** :)

 **chocobo boi:** actually nvm :))))

 **creepy virus hacker:** Aww ~~ Why not? :)

 **chocobo boi:** hush :) before i panic :)

 **(hoe)nstly:** why are you up?

 **chocobo boi:** u and i both know by now that no one in this group have normal sleep schedules smh

 **(hoe)nstly:** you're not wrong...

 **Tough Cookie:** YOU. HAVE. AWOKE. THE. BEAST  >:(((

 **(hoe)nstly:** how cute.

 **Tough Cookie:** it is not cute !! I am the darkness !!!!

 **chocobo boi:** too cute

 **Tough Cookie:** djlafjd be intimidated dang it :c

 **(hoe)nstly:** my bad. what i meant was "oh no too scary"

 **chocobo boi:** "im shook ahh!!!"

 

_Tough Cookie has sent a picture_

 

 **Tough Cookie:** be !! terrified !!

 **chocobo boi:** even with bed head u look holy i am jealous

 **chocobo boi:** my hair cant look good even tho i try every day it just doesnt wanna work with me

 **(hoe)nstly:** you actually style your hair?

 **chocobo boi:** YES! no one knows bc it still looks like crap in the end lol

 **Tough Cookie:** I like your hair style ! it's cute :33

 **(hoe)nstly:** it's like a real chocobo butt.

 **chocobo boi:** MY HAIR DOES NOT LOOK LIKE A CHOCOBO BUTT WHY DOES EVERYONE THINK THIS DDDX

 **(hoe)nstly:** Gladiolus mentioned it to me once and i agree that it does in a way.

 **chocobo boi:** that traitor

 **(hoe)nstly:** what does your bedhead look like though? i'm curious.

 **chocobo boi:** noooo nope no way i look way to gross xdd

 **(hoe)nstly:** prom oh my gods you are not gross.

 **Tough Cookie:** yeah ! you are a handsome young man (who should date noct bc you guys would be the cutest couple on the block wink wink)

 **chocobo boi:** luna omg stop urself

 **(hoe)nstly:** ten bucks says my bedhead is worse than yours.

 **chocobo boi:** .....make it 20

 **(hoe)nstly:** fifteen.

 **chocobo boi:** deal but i expect money when u come to visit iggy

 **Tough Cookie:** !!! Aranea is going to send !! a selfie ?!?!?

 **(hoe)nstly:** shut it oracle or i'll just PM prom

 **Tough Cookie:** I apologize pretend I'm not even ehre

 **chocobo boi:** u first xddd

 **(hoe)nstly:** ugh loser.

 

_(hoe)nstly has sent a picture_

 

 **Tough Cookie:** ARANEA YOU'RE SO CUTE !! AND I APOLOGIZE BECAUSE I SNORTED THAT IS ONE CRAZY BED HEAD HEHE

 **Tough Cookie:** is it possible for hair to stick up naturally like that?

 **(hoe)nstly:** quiet miss perfect looks.

 **chocobo boi:** OOOOH SHIT U OWE ME 15 BUCKS BOI

 **(hoe)nstly:** no money if you don't finish the deal here.

 **chocobo boi:** jflkdj fuck

 

_chocobo boi has sent a picture_

 

 **(hoe)nstly:** oh shit you really do have me beat i was actually not ready to lose money.

 **chocobo boi:** i told u my bedhead is grossss

 **Tough Cookie:** YOU GUYS I AM CRYING THIS IS WONDERFUL BLACKMAIL !!!

 **chocobo boi:** r00d luna

 **chocobo boi:** but i told u its bad i look like a freakin hobo

 **(hoe)nstly:** well for your troubles i'll give you twenty bucks when we meet.

 **chocobo boi:** the hobo life isnt half bad after all :DDD

 **grease monkey:** if i had known this chat would wake me up i would have left a long time ago

 **chocobo boi:** u have been here for one day omg

 **grease monkey:** and im already done with your shenanigans

 **chocobo boi:** im hurt cindy :((((

 **grease monkey:** good

 **(hoe)nstly:** the savagery.

 **overwhelmingly bi:** due to unfortunate circumstances i am awake

 **chocobo boi:** tumblr textpost?

 **overwhelmingly bi:** actually i saw that on a minion meme iris showed me and it has haunted me ever since

 **(hoe)nstly:** i fucking hate the minions.

 **Tough Cookie:** hey !! they are cute and yellow soft creatures  >:(

 **cup noode:** More like annoying and ugly ass dildos

 **chocobo boi:** GLADIO IM PISSING OMG I CATN BELIVECLAKV

 **Tough Cookie:** aaaand now they are ruined for me thanks :")

 **cup noode:** Your welcome

 **overwhelmingly bi:** who are we missing rn???

 **(hoe)nstly:** specs.

 **Tough Cookie:** other than that, i think we've seen everyone here

 **Tough Cookie:** which is a bad thing since it goes to show we all do not sleep

 **overwhelmingly bi:** should i wake iggy or nah

 **chocobo boi:** if u do ill give u the 20 bucks im getting this weekend

 **(hoe)nstly:** don't wake him, he needs his rest for dealing with your bullshit.

 **overwhelmingly bi:** that was rude aranea

 **chocobo boi:** yeah now he is gonna wake specs up to get back at u  >:))

 **overwhelmingly bi:** yeah i am

 **chocobo boi:** wait waht i was joking iggy is gonna kick ur ass if u try

 **overwhelmingly bi:** i had a plan to act like we did to fuck with aranea just to see her reaction and now it's all ruined

 **(hoe)nstly:** and you said i was rude.

 **overwhelmingly bi:** it's called karma get it right

 **cup noode:** Noct stop giggling youll wake iggy up

 **overwhelmingly bi:** shurgs ://

 **cup noode:** And youll knock prom from his sleepy daze

 **cup noode:** He looks ready to pass out

 **overwhelmingly bi:** oh shit you're right

 **Tough Cookie:** everyone here needs better sleep schedules :(

 **overwhelmingly bi:** hypocrite you're awake right now too

 **Tough Cookie:** i have reasons !!

 **overwhelmingly bi:** which are?

 **Tough Cookie:** Aranea and Prompto text the group chat at the ungodly hours of the morning and my phone will make noises and it wakes me up  >:((

 **overwhelmingly bi:**  mute your phone then??

 **Tough Cookie:** I can only set it on vibrate and I hate that sound :"(

 **overwhelmingly bi:** try pressing the volume button down again

 **Tough Cookie:** OH

 **Tough Cookie:** how dandy ! thank you :DD

 **overwhelmingly bi:** oh my gods you are such an old lady

 **(hoe)nstly:** any updates on the sleepy choco boy?

 **overwhelmingly bi:** he keeps whispering to me so he can stay awake and gladio just like hit his leg for "being too loud"

 **cup noode:** Theyre both being dumbasses

 **Tough Cookie:** FLDKAJKG ;;FAA

 **overwhelmingly bi:** luna?? you okay there?? nothing shippy even happened i'm confused

 **Tough Cookie:** dont worry about it lol

 **overwhelmingly bi:** i. am. worried??

 **Tough Cookie:** flllllll

 **(hoe)nstly:** oracle what the fuck?

 **Tough Cookie:** dont what the fuck me fuckyo u

 **(hoe)nstly:** LUNAFREYA OH MY GODS DID YOU JUST TYPE FUCK?? RIGHT BACK AT ME???

 **overwhelmingly bi:** please tell me that was autocorrect or i will have a heart attack

 **Tough Cookie:** doesnt autocorrect change fuck to duck tho lolol

 **overwhelmingly bi:** ok who are you and what have you done to the real luna??

 **Tough Cookie:** I AM SO SORRY RAVUS STOLE MY PHONE

 **Tough Cookie:** I am so v er y sorry oh my gosh

 **(hoe)nstly:** tell your brother he's a dick for ruining your innocence on this chat but also tell him he has gained mad respect from me. Brave lil bastard he is...

 **Tough Cookie:** he says I need to go to bed soon but he'll give me another hour since he made me cry :")

 **Tough Cookie:** also he says you're "coolio"??

 **(hoe)nstly:** nice.

 **overwhelmingly bi:** OGHFUKC

 **overwhelmingly bi:** FLKAAA

 **Tough Cookie:** you okay?? did someone steal your phone too?

 

\---

 

** [GROUP CHAT: FUCK FEELINGS] **

 

_December 5_

_2:56 am_

 

 **overwhelmingly bi:** prom just fell asleep against me and my arm is getting all numb and tingly

  **overwhelmingly bi:** but i don't want to move and risk him waking up. plus he looks really comfortable??

 **Tough Cookie:** pics or it didn't happen :)

 

_overwhelmingly bi has sent a picture_

_cup noode has sent a picture_

 

 **overwhelmingly bi:** GLADIO STOP TAKING SURPRISE PICS OF US AT HUMILIATING TIMES FALKDJFKLSD

 **cup noode:** Never

 **Tough Cookie:** I screamed and Ravus came in to check if I was okay

 **Tough Cookie:** (also I am saving these photots for new wallpapers hehe)

 **overwhelmingly bi:** oh gods don't show him the things

 **Tough Cookie:** I showed him the things

 **Tough Cookie:** he just shook his head and whispered "they're so g a y"

 **overwhelmingly bi:** he did not no way stop it you liar no

 **Tough Cookie:** you could totally add him to the chat so he can tell you himself but I don't?? want him to be here??

 **cup noode:** Also hes kinda on the enemy side for us right now so best if we dont just willingly invite him ya know

 **Tough Cookie:** that is true

 **cup noode:** But we could invite iris

 **Tough Cookie:** your sister?? :DD

 **cup noode:** Yeah

 **overwhelmingly bi:** how about? no??

 **cup noode:** You got a problem with my sister ?

 **overwhelmingly bi:** no not at all she is a wonder lady

 **overwhelmingly bi:** but she doesn't know?? my huge thing on prom??

 **overwhelmingly bi:** and idk i don't want her to judge me or something??

 **cup noode:** Iris wont judge you and you should know that wtf

 **overwhelmingly bi:** but she tends to say things accidentally

 **overwhelmingly bi:** like she can't keep a secret if her life depended on it

 **overwhelmingly bi:** what is she blurts out to prom about it??

 **overwhelmingly bi:** oh gods i'm dying insdie just thinking abotu ti

 **cup noode:** It wont happen

 **cup noode:** So invite her

 **cup noode:** Tho she might be asleep rn but she will definitely be here in the morning

  **overwhelmingly bi:** fine ubt i am still panicking and i blame you

 

_overwhelmingly bi has added Iris Dearest to the chat_

 

 

 **overwhelmingly bi:** i'll add her to the main one later ughfdjl

 **grease monkey:** calm down prince charmin even if she did prom wouldnt take it is seriously

 **grease monkey:** i mean i even blurted out to him about this chat and what you told us yesterday and he didnt believe it

 **overwhelmingly bi:** and i am still salty about that fyi

 **overwhelmingly bi:** also where the fuck have you been it's been like ten years

 **cup noode:** We also lost aranea in the process

 **cup noode:** And me im going back to bed peace out

 

_cup noode is now offline_

 

 **(hoe)nsty:** he leaves right as i get back. whoa.

 **overwhelmingly bi:** hey ara but cinDY YOU HAVE YET TO ANSWER ME??

 **grease monkey:** took a shower and then worked on some stuff

 **Tough Cookie:** at 3 in the morning?

 **grease monkey:** is that weird

 **(hoe)nstly:** nah.

 **overwhelmingly bi:** update: prom talks in his sleep and it's always the cutest thing ever??

 **overwhelmingly bi:** or well that's a lie but i mean prom sleep talks and i'm almost always there to hear them

 **Tough Cookie:** what is he saying eye emoji ;)))

 **overwhelmingly bi:** not sure it's mainly him mumbling gibberish but i heard a "it's over the wall" so i assume he's on an adventure

 **(hoe)nstly:** try talking to him to see if you get a response.

 **overwhelmingly bi:** what should i say??

 **Tough Cookie:** ask him what's over the wall hehehe

 **overwhelmingly bi:** k

 **Tough Cookie:** omgomgomg

 **(hoe)nstly:** i'm not surprised the choco boy talks in his sleep. he seems like the kind of person who does.

 **Tough Cookie:** he is a soft boy. so pure.

 **overwhelmingly bi:** holy shit

 **overwhelmingly bi:** i asked what was over the wall aight and he replied "the bodies" i'm terrified this isn't fun anymore

 **Tough Cookie:** ok so maybe he is not as pure of a boy as I previously mentioned

 **(hoe)nstly:** ask him who's bodies they are.

 **Tough Cookie:** I AM AFRAID??

 **overwhelmingly bi:** he's mumbling i can't understand him ahhh

 **overwhelmingly bi:** just asked again and he started saying the lyrics to rap god and i don't know whether to laugh or cry

 **overwhelmingly bi:** SHIST

 **Tough Cookie:** bye Noct :")

 **(hoe)nstly:** three minutes with no updates on his boyfriend

 **Tough Cookie:** I'm disappointed too

 

_grease monkey is now offline_

 

 **overwhelmingly bi:** ok bye cindy

 **Tough Cookie:** HE LIVES !!

 **overwhelmingly bi:** yeah just lived through a heart attack because listen to this ok

 **overwhelmingly bi:** prom woke up ok and looked me dead in the eyes and he whispered "i left a basket of unfinished chicken strips and the crows nest" before falling back asleep on me

 **overwhelmingly bi:** and i am silently crying since i can't laugh without waking everyone up

 **overwhelmingly bi:** this is the most he has sleep talked (slept talked? idk what is proper grammer) in a while

 **(hoe)nstly:** an unfinished. basket of chicken strips.

 **Tough Cookie:** I bring back my statement of him being a soft pure boy

 **(hoe)nstly:** so he sleep talks often?

 **overwhelmingly bi:** oh yeah all the time. almost every night at least once.

 **Tough Cookie:** what does he say?? :)))

 **overwhelmingly bi:** half the shit he says makes no sense and it's kinda cute but the other half is fucking terrifying

 **overwhelmingly bi:** like it'll range from "whoa a talking deer" to "i've seen many burned bodies around me" in like five seconds

 **overwhelmingly bi:** and he sleep walked once too and that shit was fucking horrifying

 **(hoe)nstly:** please, do tell.

 **overwhelmingly bi:** let's just say he almost got ran over??

 **Tough Cookie:** oh my!! :"c

 **overwhelmingly bi:** yeah. lucky us he hasn't done that ever again (i don't think??)

 **overwhelmingly bi:**  note: he also just said "i wouldn't let that fox eat the soup" and then snorted i'm :"))))

 **(hoe)nstly:** what the fuck does that boy dream about?

 **overwhelmingly bi:** no fucking clue

 **Tough Cookie:** there was one time I apparently slept walked and talked when me and Ravus were younger (he told me this story. I do not believe him)

 **Tough Cookie:** but I supposedly walked into his room and stood at the edge of his bed and when he woke up he asked me what I was doing. I answered "sacrificing you to the souls of the damned" and he peed his bed.

 **Tough Cookie:** again, I do not believe him but he says it will haunt him to the grave because I said it with a smile?

 **overwhelmingly bi:** holy shit luna you were secretly a murderer this whole time

 **Tough Cookie:** I AM NOT.   >:((

 **(hoe)nstly:** this is the second time the oracle has cursed in my presence i am shook.

 **Tough Cookie:** remember when I said I don't use certain words? I did not mean all words. Like the extreme ones you guys and Ravus use. I use words like damn and hell. That is really about it.

 **(hoe)nstly:** got screenshots. tweeting it to everyone right now.

 **Tough Cookie:** jokes on you, they'll think it's a joke or a catfish. what kind of oracle uses emojis and has a cute username?? ;;)

 **(hoe)nstly:** that is true. you got me there.

 **Tough Cookie:** ;))))

 **Tough Cookie:** any updates on my sunshine child?

 **overwhelmingly bi:** other than he just slobbered all over my shoulder while cuddling me? yeah, got nothing. he's gone quiet.

 **Tough Cookie:** PICS OR IT DIDN'T HAPPEN !!

 **overwhelmingly bi:** no

 **Tough Cookie:** :(

 **Tough Cookie:** oops being forced to go back to bed. good rest of the night and also good morning !!

 

_Tough Cookie is now offline_

 

 **(hoe)nstly:** why does everyone leave before you can reply?

 **overwhelmingly bi:** bbbye :)

 

_overwhelmingly bi is now offline_

 

 **(hoe)nstly:** i will fight you this weekend i swear.

 

_(hoe)nstly is now offline_

_creepy virus hacker is now offline_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so. many. characters.
> 
> like we started with four to five people and now there's like nine (not including background peeps like ravus just yet but omG this is a lot)
> 
> i hope all these crazy names and whatever don't confuse yall as we go along xddd
> 
> (imean even im getting confused and im the one writing the fucking story sobs)
> 
> but hopefully you enjoyed this day update that didnt take 10 years but still isnt really checked as i write so expect grammar shits xd 
> 
> and like get pumped for iris woop woop :33


	9. take a shot every time there is a new group chat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> overwhelmingly bi: no prom you have HURT me :"(
> 
> chocobo boi: hmph fine u asked for it
> 
> chocobo boi: long live the king
> 
> overwhelmingly bi: prom what
> 
>  
> 
> chocobo boi has kicked overwhelmingly bi from the chat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM SO SORRY THIS TOOK LIKE TWO MONTHS
> 
> i legit had this chapter done for like a good month and a half but i havent gotten around to posting it so sorry??
> 
> but anyway the chapter is here and here are some things
> 
> ///SPOILERS///  
> if you have not made it past chapter 11 or don't know what happens after this point then make sure to be aware of the chapters after this one :"))))
> 
> this one is pretty clean tho so go on through i guess
> 
> -also i decided to kind of make this a somewhat au now? so yeah it's like if aranea was always her own mercenary or something-
> 
> aka: aranea never worked for the Nifs au
> 
>  
> 
> also warning: this entire chapter is a fucking train wreck so yeah
> 
> its all over the place and i didnt check over it so i apologize for mistakes or incoherent things lmao

** [GROUP CHAT: THE CHOCOBROS] **

 

_December 5_

_7:00 am_

 

_overwhelmingly bi has added Iris Dearest to the chat_

 

 **overwhelmingly bi:** update: prom is still asleep and iggy has grounded /me/ because i was still awake when he woke up

 **overwhelmingly bi:** even though i aM AN ADULT? I CAN MAKE MY OWN DECISIONS  @iffy

 **iffy** : Then make responsible ones and I will not bother you.

 **overwhelmingly bi:** I WAS ASLEEP BEFORE THE CHAT WAS EVEN ACTIVE. IGGY PLEASE.

 **iffy:** It is seven, Noct. You have been awake for about seven or six hours already.

 **(hoe)nstly:** in his defense, me and prom probably did wake him up. ten bucks says he stayed up to watch prom sleep though.

 **cup noode:** He did

 **overwhelming bi:** DID NOT

 **iffy:** You did.

 **(hoe)nstly:** where's oracle? she needs to see this.

 **iffy:** Hopefully still asleep.

 **overwhelmingly bi:** i did not stay up to watch prom sleep that is like creep factor there

 **creepy virus hacker:** Is there something wrong with that?

 **overwhelmingly bi:** yES

 **cup noode:** Well wake up prom we gotta get moving soon

 **iffy:** Indeed. We have much to do today.

 **overwhelmingly bi:** oh gods like what

 **iffy:** First, we have that job for Dave, then then we have to meet Cor. There is also those things for Cid and Cindy, but it can wait. We also have a request from Dino. Lastly is to visit Iris before our departure.

 **cup noode:** Bout time

 **overwhelmingly bi:** UGH SO MUCH STUFF

 **(hoe)nstly:** you guys sure are busy.

 **iffy:** Which is why I prefer to get going as soon as possible.

 **overwhelmingly bi:** yeah yeah i'll wake prom in a bit just don't drop your phone in the food specs

 **(hoe)nstly:** have fun.

 

\--

 

_December 5_

_2:15 pm_

 

 **chocobo**   **boi:** aranea can u come pick me up i dont wanna be here anymore

 **(hoe)nstly:** why are you asking me?

 **chocobo boi:** just met ardyn again and im internally crying he is

 **chocobo boi:** really touchy?

 **chocobo boi:** and his stare like looks into your soul i just dontl ike this at all i wanna hang with u and ur group now pls accept me

 **overwhelmingly bi:** so you're just gonna ditch me here with gladio and iggy?

 **chocobo boi:** noct?? never heard of him lolol

 **overwhelmingly bi:** PROM

 **chocobo boi:** friends?? do u mean chocobos?? :)))

 **(hoe)nstly:** yeah i'll come get you.

 **overwhelmingly bi:** ARANEA NO PLEASE I CAN HANDLE THIS AHHH

 **chocobo boi:** thank u aranea u can keep ur 20 bucks i was suppose to get tomorrow

 **(hoe)nstly:**  i was joking. there is no way in hell i'm going to get you today. maybe tomorrow if you really do pay me.

 **chocobo boi:** id sell my soul if i dont die first xdd

 **overwhelmingly bi:** PROM PLEASE

 **chocobo boi:** prince who ammiright

 **grease monkey:** what did you do to the boy that he denies yalls friendships

 **chocobo boi:** tHEY BULLY ME

 **grease monkey:** i would too

 **chocobo boi:** cindy?? whos that lol

 **iffy:** This is so childish.

 **chocobo boi:** iggy? as /my/ mom? its more likely than u think

 **iffy:** Stop. I am not your mother. Stop with the mom jokes.

 **chocobo boi:** ur right aranea is my new mom

 **(hoe)nstly:** i did not agree to this.

 **chocobo boi:** pls i am sad and no one is helping me

 **overwhelmingly bi:** PROM I AM LITERALLY TRYING BUT YOU'RE BEING A BUTT ABOUT IT

 **chocobo boi:** hush u said to "stop being a baby and suck it up" noct  >:((

 **cup noode:** Yall havin sex now

 **chocobo boi:** OH MY GOD STOPPP

 **(hoe)nstly:** who tops?

 **grease monkey:** my bet is noct

 **chocobo boi:** wait what no way i would totally be top !!

 **overwhelmingly bi:** PROM IHMYGDS

 **chocobo boi:** like no homo or anything but if we did have sex i would not let u dominate me after ur r00dness today smh

 **cup noode:** Are you implying you would have let him before

 **chocobo boi:** why are u looking into this its a joke stop yourself

 

_Tough Cookie is now online_

 

 **Tough Cookie:** I HAVE BEEN AWOKEN AT A BEAUTIFUL MOMENT

 **overwhelmingly bi:** fuck

 **Tough Cookie:** let's say (no homo wink wonk) that if you guys did do the do and Noct did top, would you enjoy it?

 **chocobo boi:** SOTPPP

 **overwhelmingly bi:** i'm just going to go out and let myself get mauled by a sabertooth bbbye

 **chocobo boi:** no noct pls

 **overwhelmingly bi:** eaRLIER YOU DIDN'T CARE AND NOW YOU DO WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME

 **chocobo boi:** I WAS JOKING AND I APOLOGIZE I WAS JUST SALTY AFTER MEETING WITH THE WERIDO FORgiVe me pls :"c

 **overwhelmingly bi:** no

 **chocobo boi:** BUT NOCT

 **overwhelmingly bi:** no prom you have HURT me :"(

 **chocobo boi:** hmph fine u asked for it

 **chocobo boi:** long live the king

 **overwhelmingly bi:** prom what

 

_chocobo boi has kicked overwhelmingly bi from the chat_

 

 **(hoe)nstly:** oh my gods.

 **Tough Cookie:** PROMPTO

 **chocobo boi:** i feel bad but i wont let it get to me jkfdja

 **iffy:** Finally some peace and quiet.

 **(hoe)nstly:** try again.

 **iffy:** I meant to say, Prompto add Noct back to the chat.

 **chocobo boi:** u listen to aranea??

 **iffy:** No.

 **(hoe)nstly:** wrong.

 **iffy:** Maybe on occasion.

 **(hoe)nstly:** specs.

 **iffy:** What?

 **Tough Cookie:** don't fight just kiss and make up pls

 **iffy:** Kick Luna from the chat if anything.

 **chocobo boi:** gotcha

 **Tough Cookie:** WAIT DONT IDIDNTMEANTI

 

_chocobo boi has kicked Tough Cookie from the chat_

 

 **(hoe)nstly:** we're dropping like flies.

 **cup noode:** Does prom control the chat now

 **chocobo boi:** yea boi

 **chocobo boi:** KFADJLK NVM I GIVE UIFMADK

 

_chocobo boi has added overwhelmingly bi to the chat_

_overwhelmingly bi has added Tough Cookie to the chat_

 

 **overwhelmingly bi:** back and ready to kick some choco boy ass

 **chocobo boi:** i lover u?? plsdonthurtme

 **overwhelmingly bi:** lover you too but i am still going to punch you

 **chocobo boi:** sobs ok i guess i deserve it xddd

 **overwhelmingly bi:** yeah you do now come out of hiding i have no idea where you went

 **Tough Cookie:** Noct if you punch my son I will slap you the moment I see you  >:((

 **Tough Cookie:** NOCTIS

 **Tough Cookie:** NOCTIS LUCIS CAELUM DO NOT HURT MY BABY

 **cup noode:** News for the ladies we found prom

 **cup noode:** He was totally ready to get his ass handed to him by noct like on the brink of tears and everything

 **cup noode:** But noct just noogied him and called him an idiot

 **iffy:** In other words, no one got punched.

 **Tough Cookie:** oh good I was worried

 **(hoe)nstly:** figured noct wouldn't actually punch him.

 **overwhelmingly bi:** is that a challenge?

 **Tough Cookie:** do not agree Aranea

 **(hoe)nstly:** not at all. unless you think it is.

 **overwhelmingly bi:** i think is is

 **(hoe)nstly:** so be it.

 **chocobo boi:** no pls

 **overwhelmingly bi:** fine but only because you did the puppy dog look and you know i'm weak to it

 **chocobo boi:** works every time ;;D

 **grease monkey:** he could give you any look and youd be weak to it

 **iffy:** The amount of truth in that statement is astounding.

 **overwhelmingly bi:** i will not confirm nor deny

 **chocobo boi:** so u would give me half of ur food even if i did that double chin face??

 **overwhelmingly bi:** PROM IMLAUGHING

 **chocobo boi:** THIS IS A SERIOUS QUESTION THAT NEEDS A SERIOUS ANSWER

 **overwhelmingly bi:** only if you add the eyebrow wiggles

 **chocobo boi:** when do i not??

 **Tough Cookie:** sooo change of subject but any gay thoughts you would like to talk about?? :D

 **chocobo boi:** i want to vote luna off the island again

 **overwhelmingly bi:** same

 **Tough Cookie:** noo :c

 **chocobo boi:** but i have a confesSION

 **(hoe)nstly:** gasps is he gonna do it?

 **chocobo boi:** yall better prepare to be disappointed bc no i am not about to "confess my love for noct" or whatever

 **Tough Cookie:** DANG IT

 **chocobo boi:** but can we just take a moment to appreciate gladios torso bc hot damn

 **cup noode:** What

 **Tough Cookie:** you don't have a thing for him do you???

 **(hoe)nstly:** i mean that could be cute too. i could see it. a small cute blond boy and an overly built bear man.

 

_Iris Dearest is now online_

 

 **chocobo boi:** oh hell no gladio bullies me more than everyone and he stinks. hes more of like the hot dad everyone wants??

 **Iris Dearest:** this is not what i wanted to wake up too! o(*≧д≦)o))

 **overwhelmingly bi:** welcome to the chat

 **chocobo boi:** all we talk about it ur bros hot bod while ignoring his shit personality 

 **Iris Dearest:** OK EW I DIDNT WANT TO KNOW

 **iffy:** They are just joking, but this is one of the most normal thing in this chat so far.

 **(hoe)nstly:** also everyone here ships promptis.

 **chocobo boi:** and whatever aranea and iggys ship name is

 **Tough Cookie:** Aranis?

 **chocobo boi:** I LAUGH BC I THOUGHT OF URANUS AND IM IMMATURE LMAOO

 **overwhelmingly bi:** iganea

 **(hoe)nstly:** how about we just stick with the normal me x ignis? since whatever ship name you guys come up with sounds like someone puking.

 **Iris Dearest:** you know some ship names arent even the names mashed together!

 **Iris Dearest:** there are ones like 'climbing class' or 'airship' and such because its symbolic of things or events (and no i am not telling you what those ships are huehuehue)! φ(ﾟ ωﾟ//）♡

 **overwhelmingy bi:** yeah but we are not creative enough to come up with those

 **Iris Dearest:** hmph! losers! (ง •̀_•́)ง

 **chocobo boi:** but back to gladio why doesnt he have a date

 **chocobo boi:** like he should have a harem by now wtf

 **chocobo boi:** ya know like just him in a room full of ladies

 **chocobo boi** : maybe some dudes idk what gladios into tbh

 **chocobo boi:** he could be livin the dream

 **chocobo boi:** but nooo hed rather sit out in a tent with two losers and a mom friend and fight monsters all day

 **overwhelmingly bi:** #givegladioaharem

 **chocobo boi:** #GIVEGLADIOAHAREM

 **(hoe)nstly:** he would bench press everyone there though. at the same time. with one hand.

 **Tough Cookie:** that sounds fun!

 **chocobo boi:** luna deserves a harem too

 **chocobo boi:** reverse harem

 **chocobo boi:** and aranea and cindy, they need one too

 **chocobo boi:** they need to be treated like the queens they are

 **grease monkey:** i aint no queen and i dont need no harem

 **grease monkey:** what even is a harem

 **overwhelmingly bi:** google it

 **Iris Dearest:** oh sure leave me out i guess i dont deserve my own harem

 **iffy:** I am about to take shots every time someone says harem

 **overwhelmingly bi:** IGGY WHAT

 **cup noode:** Harem harem harem harem harem harem harem harem harem harem harem harem

 **iffy:** That is twelve shots already. What a great start.

 **(hoe)nstly:** specs is learning how to live. good job.

 **overwhelmingly bi:** ten bucks says luna can beat gladio in arm wrestling

 **Iris Deares:** what a subtle way to change the subject

 **cup noode:** No way i would break her arm just by grabbing it

 **Tough Cookie:** You want a bet?

 **chocobo boi:** OOOOO

 **chocobo boi:** MY MONEYS ON LUNA OOOOOO

 **overwhelmingly bi:** she picked me up over her head once so i wouldn't be to sure gladio

 **cup noode:** she did not

 **Tough Cookie:** I still have the photos your dad took too !! :DD

 **Iris Dearest:** most badass oracle ever ✧٩(•́⌄•́๑)

 **cup noode:** Iris

 **Iris Dearest:** i did not mean to cure woops (≧д≦ヾ)

 **chocobo boi:** SHOW PICS SHOW PICS

 

_Tough Cookie has sent a picture_

_Tough Cookie has sent a picture_

 

 **chocobo boi:** hoLY HSIT

 **Tough Cookie:** of course we were young then

 **Tough Cookie:** but now I am sure I can throw Noct across a room :)

 **cup noode:** Damn im impressed

 **Iris Dearest:** gladdy!!

 **cup noode:** Im an adult and i have a right to curse

 **Iris Dearest:** no fair !! 凸( >皿<)凸

 **cup noode:** Shoosh

 **Iris Dearest:** you shoosh!!

 **overwhelmingly bi:** i mean i think luna would at least put up a good match ya know

 **overwhelmingly bi:** hold off longer than two minutes

 **Tough Cookie:** make it five :)

 **chocobo boi:** WERE IN THE MONEY

 **chocobo boi:** W E R E I N T H E M O N E Y

 **(hoe)nstly:** i cannot believe the oracle and gladio are about to square up

 **Tough Cookie:** :)

 **cup noode:** Isnt it illegal to fight the oracle tho

 **Tough Cookie:** are you scared?? :))))

 **cup noode:** Shakin in my boots blondie

 **chocobo boi:** IM SCREAMIGN OMG GO LUNA GO !!!

 **overwhelmingly bi:** prom really is screaming fyi

 **iffy:** And I am about to duck tape his mouth shut.

 **overwhelmingly bi:** let him have his moment

 **creepy virus:** Is the Ignis versus Noctis versus Prompto fight still on tomorrow as well?

 **chocobo boi:** yes of course

 **iffy:** No.

 **overwhelmingly bi:** I ALMOST FORGOT THANK YOU CREEPER

 **overwhelmingly bi:** get ready for just one bug ol' fight session tomorrow

 **chocobo boi:** me vs iggy vs noct then luna vs gladio

 **chocobo boi:** who else is gonna fight lol

 **grease monkey:** ill fight

 **(hoe)nstly:** i can't remember if i'm already in a fight or if i payed to watch one...

 **overwhelmingly bi:** join the fight aranea

 **(hoe)nstly:** okay whateer

 **chocobo boi:** oh no cindy vs aranea

 **chocobo boi:** i dont know who to cheer for ahHHH

 **grease monkey:** me

 **(hoe)nstly:** don't even cheer?

 **chocobo boi:** yea im cheering for cindy hooRAH

 **Iris Dearest:** i wanna fight !! (ง •̀_•́)ง

 **cup noode:** Anyone who fights my sister is gonna catch these hands

 **overwhelmingly bi:** oh shit

 **Iris Dearest:** gladdy let me have my moment

 **cup noode:** No

 **chocobo boi:** D E N I E D

 **Iris Dearest:** shoosh xp

 **Tough Cookie:** also can i ask you a question, Iris?

 **Iris Dearest:** yeah sure

 **Tough Cookie:** where did you get your face thingies?

 **Iris Dearest:**  on a japanese emoji website huehuehue °˖ ✧◝(○ ヮ ○)◜✧˖ °

 **Tough Cookie:** okay thank you!!

 **Iris Dearest:** no prob!! :3

 **Iris Dearest:** i just realized the level of disrespect i had towards the /oracle/ of all people and i deeply apologize

 **Iris Dearest:** i forgot you were lady lunafreya ahhh!!

 **Tough Cookie:** oh it's fine! you can just call me Luna :D

 **Iris Dearest:** OH! noice (~‾⌣‾)~

 **Iris Dearest:** also i have to go so see ya later guys! BOOM ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

 

_Iris Dearest is now offline_

 

 **Tough Cookie:** I just want to say she is the cutest thing I have ever witnessed!!

 **chocobo boi:** she rlly is

 **overwhelmingly bi:** oh yeah

 **cup noode:** I cant tell if you two are being serious of if your lying bc im still here

 **chocobo boi:** no im dead serious she really is like the most pure thing to rival lunas purity

 **overwhelmingly bi:** we had a two hour long talk about iris once how can i fake my appreciation of the girl?

 **cup noode:** Point taken

 **iffy:** Allow me to interrupt but Prompto if you do not turn down your music I will take up your phone.

 **chocobo boi:** but iggy my songs are lit

 **iffy:** Are you arguing with me?

 **chocobo boi:** no

 **chocobo boi:** ok songs are turned down i apologize pls dont take my phone :"c

 **(hoe)nstly:** i would take it up if it was bad music taste

 **overwhelmingly bi:** prom actually has really good music he just sometimes has those weird songs he unironically enjoys  

 **chocobo boi:** be quiet you still listen to eminem

 **overwhelmingly bi:** the other day you fangirled over tyler joseph during that one song so you hush

 **chocobo boi:** mY TASTE IN MUSIC IS YOU FACE

 **overwhelmingly bi:** STOP USING TOP SAYINGS ON ME THAT IS LEGIT THE DUMBEST LINE I HAVE EVER HEARD

 **chocobo boi:** TYLER AND JOSH ARE BLESSINGS TO THIS WORLD

 **chocobo boi:** WHO ELSE WOULD PLAY HAPPY WHEELS AND SAY "USE UR GLUTES"

 **chocobo boi:** NO ONE BUT THOSE BEAUTIFUL BABIES THATS WHO

 **overwhelmingly bi:** AT LEAST EMINEM MAKES SENSE

 **chocobo boi:** TOP SONGS HAVE MORE MEANING THAN ANYTHING THAT WHITE RAPPER TRASH WRITES

 **overwhelmingly bi:** i am officially divorcing you

 **Tough Cookie:** wha t

 **chocobo boi:** FINE ILL FIND ME A MAN WHO APPRECIATES THE JOSH DUN PUNS I MAKE  >:"(

 **Tough cookie:** you guys weren't really married right? what am I missing here?

 **cup noode:** Sometimes they do this weird thing that they act like an old married couple

 **(hoe)nstly:** how did that start? details appreciated.

 **iffy:** Prom joked about chocobos being his and Noct's children and Noctis said "we're not even married".

 **iffy:** To which Prompto replied, and I quote, "Dude, we're a little married."

 **iffy:** Then Noct said, "I know. And I love it."

 **Tough Cookie:**   FALKDJFLAKSJF OHMYGOODSNESS IM SHAKING

 **(hoe)nstly:** thank you, now I can imagine this whole thing in my head.

 **grease monkey:** where did those two run off to tho

 **cup noode:** Probs arguing in pm

 **grease monkey:** whats pm

 **Tough Cookie:** private message!! :D

 **grease monkey:** ah alrighty

 **overwhelmingly bi:** I CANNOT BELIEVE

 **overwhelmingly bi:** actually hold up

 

\--

 

** [GROUP CHAT: FUCK FEELINGS] **

_December 5_

_5:47 pm_

 

 **overwhelmingly** bi: WHY. IS. HE. CUTE. WHEN. HE'S. ANGRY??

 **(hoe)nstly:** i'm so happy i am in this chat.

 **Tough Cookie:** GO TO HIM NOCT FOR GOODNESS SAKE

 **overwhelmingly bi:** honestly this isn't even fair

 **overwhelmingly bi:** how am i suppose to win arguments if i get distracted when he pouts?

 **overwhelmingly bi:** and like narrows his eyes but not in a threatening way?

 **overwhelmingly bi:** his freckles stand out more when his face goes red too fjkdlasjfl

 **overwhelmingly bi:** gods why am i so gAY

 **Tough Cookie:** just embrace it. and tell him.

 **overwhelmingly bi:** no fucking way do you know how creepy that would sound?

 **overwhelmingly bi:** "yeah hey yo dude i love you like lots and it's not like i watch and notice small things you do or whatever go out with me please i'm pining hard"

 **overwhelmingly bi:** in other words, i'll die if i try

 **overwhelmingly bi:** how's your plan on his so called confession?

 **iffy:** No one say a thing.

 **(hoe)nstly:** leave the prince in suspense. nice.

 **overwhelmingly bi:** gUYS

 **cup noode:** No way noct your not getting a word out of us

 **Tough Cookie:** oh !! hold up :))

 **overwhelmingly bi:** oh no

 **overwhelmingly bi:** guys??

 **overwhelmingly bi:** i see you all are online where tf did you go??

 

\--

 

_December 5_

_5:57 pm_

 

_Tough Cookie has added grease monkey, (hoe)nstly, Iris Dearest, cup noode, iffy, and creepy virus hacker to a group_

 

 _Tough Cookie has renamed the group OPERATION PROMPTIS_  


**creepy virus hacker:** You willingly added me to this chat?

 **Tough Cookie:** I would have felt bad leaving you out when you are already in this with us so why not?

 **creepy virus hacker:** Ah. :)

 **Tough Cookie:** :D

 **(hoe)nstly:** finally someone made it. now let's discuss plans.

 **iffy:** I was not prepared for this, but I am ready to end this ridiculous pining.

 **cup noode:** Whats everyone got in mind

 **grease monkey:** get em hitched

 **cup noode:** Other than the obvious

 **Tough Cookie:** we need evidence about what Prompto thinks...

 **Tough Cookie:** we can tell he is at least interested in Noct 

 **Tough Cookie:** but we probably won't be able to get him to talk like we did Noct. since ya know, the closest person to him /is/ Noct

 **iffy:** Me and Gladio could try?

 **(hoe)nstly:** no no he would suspect something if you to tried. or think you'll bully him or something. i vote luna or cindy.

 **grease monkey:** uh why me

 **(hoe)nstly:** you are the other one he has a slight interest in, or at least pretends to be interested in.

 **grease monkey:** he liked you at one point too i think

 **(hoe)nstly:** difference is i'm taken

 **grease monkey:** you lil darn scoundrel

 **Tough Cookie:** EXCUSE ME?? TAKEN?? BY IGGY?? eye emoji

 **(hoe)nstly:** who else?

 **Tough Cookie:** WHEN DID YOU GUYS GET TOGETHER AND WHY WAS I NOT INFORMED???

 **iffy:** Lady Lunafreya, please. It is not that important.

 **(hoe)nstly:** technically we've been together for about a month but specs didn't want it to interfere with his work. and I also have my freelance work so we never really made it official. but now about three days ago we change that.

 **(hoe)nstly:** since ya know, you don't have to constantly be near the person or fret over them when you know they can handle things well.

 **Tough Cookie:** I. Am. SHOOK.

 **Tough Cookie:** so can i spread the word or is this a secret thing??

 **(hoe)nstly:** don't care. up to igs.

 **iffy:** I don't care much either, but I would like for you not to scream about it immediately to the group chat.

 **Tough Cookie:**  okay accepted !!!

 **Tough Cookie:** now back to op promptis. any ideas that are serious because we need to work fast.

 **(hoe)nstly:** something coming up soon or what?

 **Tough Cookie:** :)

 **(hoe)nstly:** oracle.

 **Tough Cookie:** ok yes, I do think something is coming and it is not the friendliest of things?

 **Tough Cookie:** nonetheless Noct has been pining for years and hopefully the same with Prom and they just deserve to be together at this point

 **iffy:** While you make your plans, I have to go. Gladio has agreed to keep me updated and is going to be using my phone for a bit.

 **(hoe)nstly:** his phone die?

 **iffy:** Yes.

 **(hoe)nstly:** shocker.

 **grease monkey:** why the rush

 **iffy:** Were gonig somewhere and iggy has to drive

 **iffy:** Also its gladio now so yo

 **(hoe)nstly:** yo.

 **Tough Cookie:** hey yooo !!

 **Tough Cookie:** oh goodness I am starting to type like Prompto

 **(hoe)nstly:** but really who is going to get the choco boy to talk?

 **Tough Cookie:** I could try! if it doesn't work we can try someone else. eventually he has to crack.

 **(hoe)nstly:** sounds like a plan.

 **Tough Cookie:** then brb while I invade his PMs lolol.

 

\-- (NOTE: sorry there are so many chats this chapter i am all over the place lmao) --

 

** [CHAT: chocobo boi and Tough Cookie] **

_6:45 pm_

 

 **Tough Cookie:** hello!!

 **chocobo boi:** oh hey luna. this is new..

 **chocobo boi:** is something wrong?

 **Tough Cookie:** oh no nothing is wrong but i have some questions??

 **chocobo boi:** uhhh im afraid but whats up?

 **Tough Cookie:** Please do not get all uncomfortable or awkward and know that literally no one is judging you, but have you ever had a crush on Noct? serious question.

 **chocobo boi:** this is really weird and sudden??

 **Tough Cookie:** If you are not comfortable answering, that is fine. But maybe I can bribe info from you?

 **chocobo boi:** now this is really shady

 **Tough Cookie:** trust me :)

 **chocobo boi:** still shady but aight. whats the bride? eye emoji

 **Tough Cookie:** I'll give you one piece of information that everyone but you knows for every question you answer honestly.

 **chocobo boi:** everyone but me?? you trippin

 **Tough Cookie:** I promise I am not. :)

 **chocobo boi:** hflkdajlkfj gimme a hint that you are really serious

 **Tough Cookie:** I'll provide screenshots of things.

 **chocobo boi:** hnn i dunno

 **Tough Cookie:** This is only if you are comfortable talking to me about this. If you want me to keep it secret for a bit longer, I will respect that. I am not that much of a monster.

 **chocobo boi:** hHHH fine but i want juicy gossip and dirt or i will block u  >:(

 **Tough Cookie:** Fair enough.

 **chocobo boi:** ask away i guess...

 **Tough Cookie:** Have you ever had a crush on Noct?

 **chocobo boi:** like at least once through my life? then yeah. now gimme some infooo

 **Tough Cookie:** Aranea and Ignis are actually officially together. 

 

_Tough Cookie has sent a picture_

 

 **chocobo boi:** omG I FRICKIN KNEW IT LFAJDKF

 **Tough Cookie:** i kNOW RIGHT FLKDJSLKFS

 **Tough Cookie:** but anyway next question **:** do you currently have a crush on him?

 **chocobo boi:** am i allowed to pass?

 **Tough Cookie:** if you decided you do not want to answer, then sure. But i get to ask a different question in its place.

 **chocobo boi:** then yeah i pass

 **Tough Cookie:** What do you assume Noct thinks about you?

 **chocobo boi:** oh gods uh idk. i mean i guess he cares but i might just be weighing him down or something and he prolly thinks im annoying but idk??

 **Tough Cookie:** I can assure you that Noct does not think that.

 **chocobo boi:** yeah like im gonna believe that

 

_Tough Cookie has sent a picture_

 

 **chocobo boi:** wait why is half of it blacked out??

 **Tough Cookie:** you didn't answer a precious question so I will not show you some things that are private to other people. :)

 **chocobo boi:** hnn so i can only have the full gossip if i answer ur other question? thats hardly faiR

 **Tough Cookie:** hush. if you answer the question then i'll give you the full screenshots :)

 **chocobo boi:** DAMMIT OK fine uh i guess i do??

 **Tough Cookie:** what do you mean by you guess?

 **chocobo boi:** where are my full screenshots and info??  >:00

 **Tough Cookie:** there is a whole group chat dedicated to promptis. only u and noct are not it it. 

 

_Tough Cookie has sent a picture_

 

 

 **chocobo boi:** are u frickin kidding me

 **chocobo boi:** yall made a group chat over a ship

 **Tough Cookie:** be quiet!! now answer  >:"(

 **chocobo boi:** huh?

 **Tough Cookie:** what do you mean that you "guess" you currently have a crush on noct?

 **chocobo boi:** well i know tha ti do likehimwaknow but i dont want to get my hopes up to high or something so i try to tell myself oftherwise idk its dumb haha

 **chocobo boi:** oh shizzle mcdizzle i gtg just uh send me gossip and i check it later xdd

 

_chocobo boi is now offline_

_Tough Cookie has sent a picture_

 

 **Tough Cookie:** also thank you for actually telling me! I will keep this to myself for now. Have fun! :)

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YEAH THIS WAS A WEIRD CHAPTER LIKE A TOTAL MISTAKE AND I DEEPLY APOLOGIZE 
> 
> but how would yall feel if i tried to actually like write out scenes and stuff at some parts?
> 
> like times after certain things in the chat happen is like a real storyish type thing?
> 
>  
> 
> and how many of yall like angst? lololololol


	10. Authors note bc fuck me gently with a chainsaw

Yeah hello i tried posting the newest chapter and i was legit happy with it until i found it i lost a majority of it and only the very tip top remained

 

So now I'm gonna have to  _rewrite all of it again_ and i really did not want to do that

 

I had this shit down i was so proud

 

Then satan took a massive shit on my parade and destroyed basically all of it

 

So this is a note basically saying yes I'm not dead and this crack fic will continue but i also am going to procrastinate  ** _longer_** (most likely) bc i have to remake that whole thing

 

I might have the energy to do it tomorrow since it's gonna be friday but i just can't do it rn

 

So I'm deeply sorry i haven't been working on this story as often as i should and I also apologize for those who wanted a legit update

 

But do not worry!! Since i have the basic rough draft saved on my computer somewhere it won't take as long to remake

 

I'll just be pissy while making it is all

 

Thank you for your patience and understanding and I'll try to make it up to you guys.


	11. prompto protection squad roll out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (hoe)nstly: i swear to god if there is another furry fight i will gut you both like the animals you want to fuck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have no excuse as to why this took so long i was just being lazy but here this is and hopefully the whole thing will stay this time sobs

**[GROUP CHAT: FUCK FEELINGS]**

 

_December 6_

_2:01 am_

 

**overwhelmingly** bi: ok i'm here for ur daily dose of gay thoughts where y'all at?

**(hoe)nstly:** i am awake and ready.

**Iris Dearest:** im here too gimme the gossip

**overwhelmingly bi:** oh yeah i almost forgot you are in this chat woops

**overwhelmingly bi:** but anyway prom fell asleep like five minutes ago

**overwhelmingly bi:** but anyway prom fell asleep like five minutes ago

**overwhelmingly bi:** and ya know started sleep talkin againn

**overwhelmingly bi:** he was mumbling something about water or whatever i don't really know i was on my phone

**overwhelmingly bi:** then i heard him say my name aight

**overwhelmingly bi:** so here i am being my princely  pinning self and i start listening better to see if he is gonna like talk about me ya know bc please prom

**overwhelmingly bi:** but gUESS WHAT HE FUCKING SAYS

**overwhelmingly bi:** "why did noct steal my fries when i went to use the bathroom what an asshole"

**overwhelmingly bi:** GUYS I DID THAT LIKE THREE WEEKS AGO

**overwhelmingly bi:** HE IS STILL SALTY OVER THE ONE TIME HE CAUGHT ME SNEAKIN FRIES

**overwhelmingly bi:** SO MUCH SO HE'S DREAMING ABOUT IT

**Iris Dearest:** i was expecting something cute and this is what you give me

**(hoe)nstly:** you steal the boy's fries when he's gone, i would be salty too. but knowing him if you just ask for some i'm 100% sure he would share.

**overwhelmingly bi:** W R O N G

**overwhelmingly bi:** the reason i steal from his in the first place is bc when i asked once he said "u got ur own money" and then continued to eat them in front of my face

**Iris Dearest:** i think youre the salty one if you are holding that against him smh

**overwhelmingly bi:** no way i don't dream about it and say he's an asshole to his face

**(hoe)nstly:** do you sleep talk?

**overwhelmingly bi:** not that i know of??

**(hoe)nstly:** but if you did would you be able to control what comes out of your mouth?

**overwhelmingly bi:** mostly of my dreams i have control over so i'd say yeah probably

**(hoe)nstly:** wait you have control over most of your dreams?

**(hoe)nstly:** then yeah forget this whole lecture i was about to give you then it wouldn't matter.

**Iris Dearest:** describe ur dreams :DD

**overwhelmingly bi:** well i don't have like complete control more like this little animal does and i just kinda go with it idk

**overwhelmingly bi:** also the animal can only communicate to me via texts

**Iris Dearest:** is that animal me? lmAO

**overwhelmingly bi:** ew no you furry

**Iris Dearest:** i am not a fuRRY YOU S W I N E

**(hoe)nstly:** i swear to god if there is another furry fight i will gut you both like the animals you want to fuck.

**overwhelmingly bi:** first of all the furry fight was between prom and gladio bc it's a choco boy and a fucking bear

**overwhelmingly bi:** second of all i'm not the furry she is

**Iris Dearest:** wait gladdy is a furry?

**Iris Dearest:** im not surprised

**overwhelmingly bi:** none of us are

**overwhelmingly bi:** OHFUKC PROM I GETTING UP

**overwhelmingly bi:** HE IS SLEEPWALKIGNAGAIN WTF

**overwhelmingly bi:** he's leaving the tent. imma follow him and i'll record what happens just in case

**Iris Dearest:** whoa what?? prompto sleep walks?

**(hoe)nstly:** it is apparently a rare occurance.

**Iris Dearest:** and we gonna get video evidence woop wOOP

**overwhelmingly bi:** yall we successfully made it down a hill without falling (you'd think sleeping walking would be difficult)

**overwhelmingly bi:** hold up we stopped

**overwhelmingly bi:** jLf

**(hoe)nstly:** did you die?

**Iris Dearest:** uh oh

**overwhelmingly bi:** PROM JUST FELL TO THE FLOOR AND IT GAVE ME A FUCKING HEART ATTACK

**overwhelmingly bi:** HES STILL SLEEPING WTF

**(hoe)nstly:** punch that boy awake or drag him back to your tent.

**(hoe)nstly:** also watch out for daemons.

**overwhelmingly bi:** yeah yeah

**Iris Dearest:** so prom left the tent to go down the hill just to sleep outside even tho there was a high possibility of getting killed?

**(hoe)nstly:** sounds like it, yes

**overwhelmingly bi:** fffffuck we woke iggy up i think he's about to take my phone

**(hoe)nstly:** tell him about Prom sleepwalking again and i'm sure he won't care about the phone

**Iris Dearest:** nooooooooooct??

**Iris Dearest:** noot noooot??

**overwhelmingly bi:** noot

**overwhelmingly bi:** i was showing him the video i took bc i thought he might need evidence that no, me and prom were not fuckin in the wilderness, he slept walked out there and i followed bc wtf

**(hoe)nstly:** iggy thought you guys were fucking in the woods?

**overwhelmingly bi:** gladio woke up and loudly voiced his opinion, which actually woke the chocoboy up in startled confusion

**overwhelmingly bi:** "who's fuckin in the woods?' smh gladdy

**overwhelmingly bi:** two of em went right back to sleep after getting scolded lolol

 

_iffy is now online_

 

**iffy:** It is three in the morning, what is everyone doing up?

**(hoe)nstly:** working.

**Iris Dearest:** being a rebellious teen uwu

**overwhelmingly bi:** pining

**iffy:** The fact that you all answered me is quite shocking.

**overwhelmingly bi:** speaking of me pining where's luna

**iffy:** I'd guess she's sleeping if she has yet to scream something about your situation

**(hoe)nstly:** nice deduction work.

**iffy:** I try.

**Iris Dearest:** yall act so natural around each other its kinda cute

**(hoe)nstly:** despite what my username implies i ain't no hoe.

**overwhelmingly bi:** WHOEVER THREW THAT PAPER

**overwhelmingly bi:** YOUR MOM'S A HOE

**Iris Dearest:** YOUR MOMS A HOE

**overwhelmingly bi:** gaSPS m-meme team??

**Iris Dearest:** *sparkles* meme team!! :3

**iffy:** Oh dear.

**Iris Dearest:** hushshsh u

**overwhelmingly bi:** iggy will never join us smh

**Iris Dearest:** we can invite ur bf. he seems funny on occassion

**overwhelmingly bi:** FIRST OF ALL he's not my bf no matter how much i dream??? SECOnd OF ALL he is fUNNY ALLTHE TIME YOU SHUT UP

**Iris Dearest:** aww u defending ur bf :333

**overwhelmingly bi:** ver close to just kickin you out this here chat

**(hoe)nstly:** oh yeah where is Cindy? I thought she works at unholy hours of the night.

**grease monkey:** ive been here

**grease monkey:** just been a bit busy

**Iris Dearest:** LATE NIGHT GIRLS SQUAD minus luna who is such a nerd she sleeps at the right time

**overwhelmingly bi:** are you calling me a girl?

**Iris Dearest:** do i need to make it more clear if u have to ask?

**overwhelmingly bi:** bYE

 

_overwhelmingly bi has kicked Iris Dearest from the chat_

 

**(hoe)nstly:** holy fuck.

**overwhelmingly bi:** don't holy fuck me.

**iffy:** Sounds like a job for Luna when you phrase it like that.

**(hoe)nstly:** IGGY OH MY SIX

**overwhelmingly bi:** bout to kick iggy out too i can't beliEVE

 

_overwhelmingly bi has added Iris Dearest to the chat_

**Iris Dearest:** omg iffy im telling on u when luna wakes up memeless peasant ┬┴┬┴┤ ͜ʖ ͡°) ├┬┴┬┴

**Iffy:** Only children tattle.

**Iris Dearest:**  ┬┴┬┴┤(･_├┬┴┬┴

**(hoe)nstly:** Adults take things into their own hands.

**overwhelmingly bi:** to summarize: fucking fight ignis

**Iris Dearest:** :00 thats such a smart idea !! fight the guy who is sKILLED WITH KNIVES AND SPEARS WHILE ALL I GOT IS A FUCKING MOOGLE PLUSHY :))))

**overwhelmingly bi:** are you allowed to curse?

**Iris Dearest:** nah but i do anyway because rebellion !!!

**Iris Dearest:** also gladdy is most likely asleep he aint gonna know

**overwhelmingly bi:** what if i wake him up??

**Iris Dearest:** he will just tell me to shoosh he can't hurt me physically. maybe emotionally or mentally but he is too soft (*•̀ᴗ•́*)و ̑̑

**overwhelmingly bi:** i mean you're not wrong

**Iris Dearest:** what happened to ara and iggy btw??

**overwhelmingly bi:** idk about aranea but iggy went back to sleep

**Iris Dearest:** lame !!! xddd

**overwhelmingly bi:** imma disappear for a bit bc prom sounds like he's about to wake up. we might get on the main chat sometime later??

**Iris Dearest:** mkay, then im gonna sleep till then. good luck on gettin ya boi !!

**overwhelmingly bi:** jkadljfkaldj thanks???

 

_overwhelmingly bi is now offline_

 

\--

 

Noctis put his phone down as he heard the blond next to him yawn. Prom woke up looking entirely exhausted and Noct is trying to act totally normal.

 

"Mornin' Prom," Noct said, trying not to seem like a creeper while also having a heart attack. Instead of repeating a 'good morning' to Noct, Prompto groaned.

 

"I wanna go back to sleeeeep," he complained into his pillow.

 

"Then sleep dude. It's like three in the morning," Noct said with a snort.

 

"I can't! I'm already awake and now I can't go back to sleep." There was a pause before he added, "Hold up- why are you awake?" Prompto asked, looking up at the prince.

 

"I wasn't really tired," Noctis said with a shrug.

 

"Bull, you're constantly tired," Prom said as he squinted his eyes at the other.

 

_Oh fuck, busted_   Noctis thought in a panic. "Whatever. I guess  _I'll_ go to sleep while you suffer the rest of the night trying to do so," Noct replied, laying back down and facing away from Prompto.

 

"Aw dude, not fair!" Prom whined. Noctis rolled over, acting like he was ignoring the blond. He heard shuffling and suddenly weight fell on top of him.

 

"Oh fucK-" Noct grunted out as Prompto sprawled across him.

 

"Don't ignore me!" Prom said. Noct could tell he had a shit-eating grin on his face at the moment but Noctis continued to ignore Prom to the best of the ability. 

 

"You're basically bulling me right now, you know that?" Prom said as he poked at Noct's sides.

 

Noctis jerked a bit because  _oh my Six Prom you know I'm fucking ticklish what  dick move_. Noctis snorted once again, pushing Prom off him before he wakes up Gladiolus and Ignis with his laugh.

 

"Fine fine," Noct concurs. Prom was smiling victoriously.

 

"Told ya you can't ignore me," he said proudly.

 

"I could if I tried hard enough," Noct tried, knowing it is a total bluff.

 

"Pfft, as if," Prom said, going back to curling up in his covers. Prom checked his phone and frowned.

 

"Yo, we gotta get a hotel or something next time, my phone's almost dead," he said.

 

"I think everyone but Gladio will agree with that. Pretty sure Iggy is craving a legit shower by now," Noct replied as he checked his phone (which was also low but it wasn't too bad.)

 

Noctis heard Prom snort. "I don't blame him. It'll be a fight to the death to get the first shower. And I'm gonna win," the blond said with a snicker.

 

Noctis laughed quietly. "Hell nah, you take all the hot water."

 

Prom stared up at Noct with fake hurt (the drama queen.) "What kind of king let's his people suffer?!"

 

Noctis pushed Prompto over. "I only let you suffer," he said with a smirk.

 

"Wow I feel so loved-" was the only thing Prom got to say before Noct threw a pillow at him.

 

A pillow fight broke out and it ended with Ignis slapping both of them and Gladio sleeping through the commotion.

 

\--

 

**[GROUP CHAT: THE CHOCOBROS]**

 

_December 6_

_7:15 am_

 

**chocobo boi:** hey hey guess what eye emoji

**Tough Cookie:** what? eye emoji

**Iris Dearest:** [https://tse4.mm.bing.net/th?id=OIP.ENJrUtCaN8OS-I3n2OjiqgHaKn&pid=15.1&P=0&w=300&h=300](https://tse4.mm.bing.net/th?id=OIP.ENJrUtCaN8OS-I3n2OjiqgHaKn&pid=15.1&P=0&w=300&h=300)

**overwhelmingly bi:** meme squad we on a roll

**Iris Dearest:** ALL HAIL

**chocobo boi** : HUZZAAAHHH!!!

**(hoe)nstly:** Iris joins the chat and everyone acts like a child.

**iffy:** They were children before Iris joined.

**chocobo boi:** they deny to be the parent figures yet they act the part??

**overwhelmingly bi:** for real though

**(hoe)nstly:** you only call us moms. and you said Gladio is the dad.

**overwhelmingly bi:** iggy is the mom, gladio is the dad, and you're like the step mom

**Iris Dearest:** wait does that make me like ur aunt :00

**chocobo boi:** u could be nocts aunt. idk if aranea iggy and gladio accept me as their kiddo :")

**cup noode:** Youre no son of mine

**iffy:** Agreed.

**(hoe)nstly:** i'll think about it.

**chocobo boi:** when will my reflection sHOW WHO I AM I N S I D E

**creepy virus hacker:** I'll accept you into my family. :)

**chocobo boi:** lmao nah id rather die???

**Tough Cookie:** Prompto is my son now back off.

**chocobo boi:** LUNA ;000

**grease monkey:** what is goin on

**Iris Dearest:** a weird game of house it looks like ://

**creepy virus hacker:** :(

**chocobo boi:** in your faCE hacker luna is my mom now  >:DDD

**chocobo boi:** oh fucc a sad song on my playlist is making me get memorieS

**overwhelmingly bi:** what song??

**chocobo boi:** Do You Feel It? by Chaos Chaos :"))

**overwhelmingly bi:** oh shit my he ar t

**Tough Cookie:** i don't know many songs why are you sad?

**iffy:** It played during a sad scene from a show they watch.

**(hoe)nstly:** you watch Rick and Morty?

**Iris Dearest:** To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand Rick and Morty. The humour is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of theoretical physics most of the jokes will go over a typical viewer’s head. There’s also Rick’s nihilistic outlo

**Iris Dearest:**  And yes, by the way, i DO have a Rick & Morty tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It’s for the ladies’ eyes only- and even then they have to demonstrate that they’re within 5 IQ points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand. Nothin personnel kid B)

**Iris Dearest:** oh wait nooo the first part got cut off !!

**overwhelmingly bi:** i just fucking knew you were gonna do that

**Iris Dearest:** huehuehuehue

**Tough Cookie:** I've seen some of that show because Ravus watches it in the living room on occasion. Not a fan honestly :(

**(hoe)nstly:** I found it kinda funny but I didn't get far.

**overwhelmingly bi:** i would sell my soul if it would make rick a happy man again

**Iris Dearest:** ur in to deep bro

**overwhelmingly bi:** i know bro i know

**iffy:** If you say 'bro' one more time I will give you leftovers from yesterday while everyone gets the fresh food.

**overwhelmingly bi:** is this only directed at me?

**iffy:** Yes.

**overwhelmingly bi:** wHAT ABOUT IRIS??

**iffy:** What about her?

**Iris Dearest:** im giggling

**overwhelmingly bi:** i can't believe this

**overwhelmingly bi:** where did prmo go? usually he would either back me up or bully me??

**cup noode:** He hasnt said anything in a while and i dont knwo where he ran off to

**Tough Cookie:** you think he's at the crows nest again? he seems to like it there.

**overwhelmingly bi:** we were camping so we're like no where near civilization so that's not an option

**overwhelmingly bi:** maybe he's outside running or takin pics or chilling in the forest

**overwhelmingly bi:** or he got in trouble in the woods

**Iris Dearest:** or he is just trollin

**overwhelmingly bi:** that too

**overwhelmingly bi:** brbrb imma go find him

**(hoe)nstly:** this has been like the tenth time you guys had to go out and find the chocoboy.

**iffy:** He does this often. I am 99.9% sure he has ADHD.

**cup noode:** That would make a lot of sense actually.

**Tough Cookie:** hopefully that attention span of his won't get him in trouble :(

 

\--

 

**[CHAT:**   **chocobo boi and overwhelmingly bi]**

_7:58 am_

 

**overwhelmingly bi:** prom where did you go? i see you're still online

**overwhelmingly bi:** prooooooooooooooommmmmm

**chocobo boi:** yeah sorry i just saw how the sky looked and i needed to take a shot by the lake

**chocobo boi:** on my way back now tho

**overwhelmingly bi:** you're such a dork

**chocobo boi:** says u ;p

**overwhelmingly bi:** also hey are you alright though? you haven't answered the main chat

**chocobo boi:** yea im all good buddy!! just muted that chat while i took my pics lolol

**overwhelmingly bi:** aight. now hurry back iggy said we're gonna go into the city

**overwhelmingly bi:** aka- we get to charge our phones and eat junk food

**chocobo boi:** oh hot damn on my way

 

\--

 

**[CHAT: Tough Cookie and chocobo boi]**

_1:33 pm_

 

**Tough Cookie:** hello! 

**chocobo boi:** hey??

**Tough Cookie:** what's with the question marks? :3

**chocobo boi:** im confused as to why youre texting me? unless you want more info or something

**chocobo boi:** WHICH btw i cannot since noct could look over my shoulder anytime

**chocobo boi:** or is something wrong and im being an inconsiderate bum??

**Tough Cookie:** aw you sweetheart. nothing is wrong! I just got bored and the main chat kind of died, so i decided to pester you.

**chocobo boi:** ur so bored u decided to text me

**chocobo boi:** should i feel blessed or cursed??

**Tough Cookie:** :(

**chocobo boi:** fjdaksljd im sorry

**chocobo boi:** girls being sad make me weak ahhhhh

**Tough Cookie:** anyone being sad makes you weak. :)

**chocobo boi:** ur not wrong omg

**Tough Cookie:** so what are you and Noct doing? eye emoji

**chocobo boi:** we are charging out phones in the crows nest and stuffing our faces with fries huehuehue

**Tough Cookie:** wait they allow you to charge your phone in a diner?

**chocobo boi:** i dont really know but were going it anyway

**Tough Cookie:** are you two sharing fries or did you order separately?

**chocobo boi:** i swear if ur trying to get shippy things

**Tough Cookie:** no I'm honestly wondering because I got news you talked in your sleep and won't share with Noct. 

**chocobo boi:** what?

**chocobo boi:** i talk in my sleep????

**Tough Cookie:** YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW??

**chocobo boi:** NO IVE NEVER BEEN TOLD

**chocobo boi:** i know i sleep /walk/but not sleep /talk/ thats so embarrassing omg

**Tough Cookie:** how are you aware of sleep walking but not talking? what even

**chocobo boi:** i have woken u in many weird places throughout my life :")

**Tough Cookie:** please, feel free to rant. :)

**chocobo boi:** the creepiest place ive woken up was this huge old school like it was super dark and it smelled bad

**chocobo boi:** i thought i was like kidnapped or something but really i just walked from my hose to this weird building i didnt even know was near me

**Tough Cookie:** that does sound scary...

**chocobo boi:** i was like 10 at that time so you better believe :")

**chocobo boi:** i cant believe i sleep talk tho like thats so embarrassing xdd

**chocobo boi:** oh mY GOSH WHAT IF I SPILLED THE BEANS TO U KNOW WHOIN MY SLEEP

**Tough Cookie:** as far as I can tell, that has not happened. You did call him an a-hole over fries though. Which, by the way, is why I asked about the fries.

**chocobo boi:** how do i know ur legit and not messing with me?

**Tough Cookie:** noct talks about it on occasion and I could share screenshot proof if you wanted :)

**chocobo boi:** that traiTOR and nah i dont wanna know what i say jfklsadj

**chocobo boi:** o i gtg noct just asked me who i was texting and yea

**Tough Cookie:** okay! good luck ;)

 

\--

 

"Seriously Prom, who are you rapid-fire texting right now?" Noctis asked as he took another fry. Prompto finally put down his phone and shrugged.

"Ah, no one. Oh man, we're almost out of fries! How many did you eat? I only got like three..." Prompto whined, pouting at Noct as the prince sheepishly smiled back.

"It's cause you were on dat phone-" Prom punched Noct's arm (playfully) while Noctis laughed.

"I'll buy another for you," the prince added after a moment of staring at Prompto's pouting face. Prom's eyes sparkled at that, however. Noctis couldn't help but smile.

"My hero Noct~" Prom joked, making fake (or not fake?) doe eyes. Noct let out an amused snort.

"Dork," Noct replied, stealing another fry. Prom lightly shoved him with another pout.

"Okay, _rude_. I am no dork," Prom said, taking the remaining basket of fries away from the prince. "And the rest of this are mine."

"Whatever, loser," Noct said with a small smirk. He could almost _swear_ he saw Prompto's face flush before the blonde buried his face in fries and his phone again. Noct pulled his out too.

 

\--

 

**[GROUP CHAT: FUCK FEELINGS]**

_1:56 pm_

 

**overwhelmingly**   **bi:** yes hello is prom texting any of you right now?

**(hoe)nstly:** are you jealous?

**overwhelmingly bi:** depends on who is texting him. i know he doesn't text many people outside this group so who is it.

**Tough Cookie:** me.

**overwhelmingly bi:** why?

**cup noode:** Hes totally jealous.

**iffy:** I don't think Prompto's and Lady Lunafreya's private conversations are any of your business.

**(hoe)nstly:** plus, i could totally guess what they're even talking about.

**overwhelmingly bi:** don't tempt me fool

**overwhelmingly bi:** but i came here to tell you about this overwhelmingly gay feeling that just fell upon the crows nest

**Iris Dearest:** YES FINALLY REAL BL  >:DDDD

**cup noode:** Stop

**overwhelmingly bi:** I could have sworn i saw prom fuckin blush when i did something

**overwhelmingly bi:** like it happened because of /me/ and i did nothing to embarrass him this time

**overwhelmingly bi:** and its not even hot in the crows nest so

**overwhelmingly bi:** does that mean??? the boy is gay as fuck??? or is this just wishful thinking on my part???

**cup noode:** How dense can you get

**overwhelmingly bi:** what

**(hoe)nstly:** I'd be willing to bet he has been pining for you for about as long as you've been for him.

**Iris Dearest:** maybe even longer. he seems like the kinda guy who would attach to anyone who remotely accepts him ://

**overwhelmingly bi:** i mean you're not wrong??

**overwhelmingly bi:** but like i need some legit evidence he likes me before i try any sort of move. should i try shit or nah??

**(hoe)nstly:** depends on the shit.

**Tough Cookie:** If you embarrass my boy I will hurt you.

**cup noode:** Oh shit luna

**overwhelmingly bi:** no i mean like what if idk i like 'accidentally' touch his hand a bit when walking or something and see how he reacts???

**overwhelmingly bi:** i'm dying thinking about this honestly but i need to know before i have a fucking heart attack

**(hoe)nstly:** that's not how a heart attack works hun.

**overwhelmingly bi:** shut

**cup noode:** I dont care what you do just dont distract that boy in battle he is already a mess as he is

**iffy:** Indeed, Prompto is quite lazy in battle, but Noct, you also have been getting distracted lately. Stop thinking about your crush before you get killed.

**overwhelmingly bi:** yeah but he is like the weakest out of us all?? other than like you on occasion??

**Iris Dearest:** but u worrying over him would prolly put u in danger which would hurt him even more. ever think about that??  >:3

**overwhelmingly bi:** holy shit

**overwhelmingly bi:** fuKC

 

_overwhelmingly bi is now offline_

 

**Iris Dearest:** what do u think happened?

**Tough Cookie:** Prompto happened.

**(hoe)nstly:** most likely, yeah.

**iffy:** Should we go fetch them before they both fry their brains?

**cup noode:** Gimme a few more minutes i dont wanna get up

**iffy:** Fine with me.

**Iris Dearest:** best dad friends wow applause u deserve an award

**cup noode:** Shoosh

**Iris Dearest:** no u xd

 

\--

 

**[GROUP CHAT: THE CHOCOBROS]**

_7:30 pm_

 

**chocobo boi:** henlo humans

**chocobo boi:** where is everyone?? :((

**chocobo boi:** i know only like 3 of yall are actually busy

**creepy virus hacker:** I'm always here. :)

**chocobo boi:** so ive noticed and dont caRE

**creepy virus hacker:** I am the only one online other than the prince. But he is busy, right?

**chocobo boi:** i mean yea?? how would u know??

**creepy virus hacker:** :)

**chocobo boi:** why are u like this

**creepy virus hacker:** Explain. :)

**chocobo boi:** u know what i mean!! ur like

**chocobo boi:** super creepy

**chocobo boi:** we dont even know who u are

**chocobo boi:** or how u got in this chat

**chocobo boi:** WHICH btw IS A SHITTY MOVE

**chocobo boi:** and its almost like ur trying to be creepy on purpose

**chocobo boi:** and it WORKS

**chocobo boi:** what do u even want

**creepy virus hacker:** How badly do you want to know the answer? :)

**chocobo boi:** fuck

**chocobo boi:** it was like a full 100% but when u say it like that its down to a fucknnnnngngnuh 20% so

**chocobo boi:** yea dont tell me i dont wanna know ur intentions im honestly scared ha

**creepy virus hacker:** Good answer.

**chocobo boi:** no smiley face oh shiiiittt

**chocobo boi:** THE NEXT PERSON TO COME ONLINE I'LL PAY LIKE 5BUCKS AND A CROWS NEST COUPON PLEASE I DONT LIKE THIS SITUATION JKFLADJFA

**creepy virus hacker:** Isn't everyone else busy? There is only me right now.

**chocobo boi:** which brings me to another question

**chocobo boi:** DO YOU EVER SLEEP??

**chocobo boi:** ur always the first to log in and the last to log out and ur legit stalking every chat

**chocobo boi:** u must have a loooot of time on ur hands

**creepy virus hacker:** No, I am rather busy. I'm just always monitoring. :)

**chocobo boi:** monitoring???? like all of us????

**creepy virus hacker:** Only a hand full really.

**chocobo boi:** how many??? of us??? are you watching???

**creepy virus hacker:** Honest answer? Mainly five of you. :)

**chocobo boi:** THAT IS A MAJORITY OF THE PEOPLE HERE THAT IS NOT A HAND FULL

**chocobo boi:** i dont even wanna know who is under ur blacklist goD

**creepy virus hacker:** You are.

**chocobo boi:** what

**creepy virus hacker:** The so-called "Blacklist". You are on it. One of the top three.

**chocobo boi:** do u plan on killing me or something

**chocobo boi:** bc if so make it quick and painless please i'll give u 2 bucks and iggys leftovers

**creepy virus hacker:** Nothing of the like. :)

**chocobo boi:** yeeeeaa i cant trust anything u say bbbye

**creepy virus hacker:** You wouldn't want to trust me in the end anyway.

**chocobo boi:** um fuck im just gonna go

**creepy virus hacker:** No. You will stay.

**chocobo boi:** what are u gonna do? drag me through my phone?

**creepy virus hacker:** I can do worse from where I'm standing.

**chocobo boi:** ??

 

_creepy virus hacker sent a picture_

 

**chocobo boi:** yea thats like mega dark and blurry wtf are u tryna show me

**chocobo boi:** hellooooo??

**chocobo boi:** wait

 

\--

 

Prompto felt his breathing speed up as he got a closer look at the picture. He could see a a shadow of a person in the small box of light. It took him a moment to register that was _his_ shadow. He ran out of the camper and outside where Ignis was scolding Noctis and Gladio was working out, but they stopped and turned when they saw him bust down the door to get out.

He looked around frantically, finding the spot the photo was taken, behind the camper. "Prom, what's wrong?" he heard Noct ask, but the blond just ignored him and ran in that direction. There was no way that creepy virus guy was here. No way no way nonono _nononono-_

He stopped at the exact spot the photo was taken. There was no one around. He looked around wildly as Noctis ran up to him, out of breath from trying to catch up. "Dude, what the fuck?" Noct asked, winded as he stared at his friend. Prompto was about to answer when his phone made another buzz. Someone messaged him.

_New message from creepy virus hacker_

" _You look scared. It's a nice look on you. :)_ " was what the messaged said. Along with it was a picture of him in the middle of his frenzy. Somehow he was facing the direction of the hacker and didn't even see him. He looked that way again and screamed, "LEAVE ME ALONE!". He felt like crying, but he was also angry. Noct's anxiety wasn't helping either.

"Prompto, snap out of it! What's wrong?!" He yelled at the blond, shaking his shoulders. Prompto turned to face him. He took one look at Noctis' worried face before breaking down right then and there. He couldn't stop the tears that now trailed down his face, nor the small hiccups that interrupted his speech. His phone buzzed once more and he felt icy dread go through his veins.

Instead of checking the message, he chucked his phone as far as he could with another scream. Noctis grabbed his arms, pulling him back. He was saying something but Prompto couldn't care to understand at the moment. It was after a bit of rocking back and forth with the prince that he realized they were sitting now, Noct's arms holding Prom's in place as the blond just sobbed away. He was too exhausted to even be embarrassed. "We shouldn't stay here," he told Noctis after he managed to calm down. Noctis just agreed.

It was after a bit of repacking their things that Prompto got his phone back. The screen was cracked a bit, the top part had a spiderweb pattern to it. When he turned it on, the lock screen notified him of many missed messages.

_(7) Messages from Tough Cookie_

_(4) Messages from creepy virus hacker_

_(1) Missed call from Tough Cookie_

 

**Tough**   **Cookie:** hey I saw the main chat, are you okay? what happened?

 

_creepy virus hacker sent a picture_

Prompto throwing his phone.

 

**Tough Cookie:** Prompto?

**Tough Cookie:** Are you still there? Are you okay?

 

_creepy virus hacker sent a picture_

Prompto crying in Noct's arms.

 

**Tough Cookie:** Are you in danger? Why aren't you picking up?

**Tough Cookie:** I'm calling Ignis. Text back when you see this, okay?

 

_creepy virus hacker sent a picture_

Prompto packing up to move out of this area.

 

**Tough Cookie:** He's saying you had a breakdown. Are you alright?

**Tough Cookie:** I'm praying for you. If you need someone to talk to, I'm here okay? Be safe.

 

_**creepy virus hacker:** Good night. :)_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tell me what yall thought of the written scenes
> 
> if you want some of those types of this scatter throughout the chapters or just on occasion or not at all just comment!!
> 
> btw how'd yall like that shitty angst at the end?? ;;DD
> 
> someone assemble a prompto protection squad ASAP tbh

**Author's Note:**

> so here's this  
> you're welcome (jk im sorRY)
> 
> just know i dont know the time line for the game so i just made it a thing for last year around the time of the games release (i think i might have fucked that up idk)
> 
> anyway hope u enjoyed and if u did u have trash taste (im joke!!)  
> bbbye


End file.
